Page 75 of The Best Thing He Never Wanted

“No?”

“No. For fear you might cover up all that…” She waved one hand vaguely at him. “All that Blane-ness. I’d hate for you to cover it.”

He chuckled. “Wasn’t planning to.”

They sat quietly for a while, looking out into the darkness. Eventually, Bea turned her face up to his.

“Whatever it is, you can say it. Or ask it.”

“Okay, then. I will.” She looked back at the house. “I know why I’m here. And you know at least the outline of my story now. But what about you, Blane? Why are you here? What’s your real life like?”

It was a fair question. He traced his fingers over her arm while he considered how the hell to answer it.

“Okay.” Bea apparently got tired of waiting. “I’ll ask an easier one. Tell me about your friend Cash and the way you work together. And you said there’s another one, too.”

He smiled. “I told you about Cash and Mav. They’re my partners in the security company, the active partners anyway. There’s a whole bunch of us. We all grew up together in Paradise Valley. That’s where they live now.” He frowned. “Where I live now, I guess, since we moved operations back there a couple months ago.”

He stared out into the dark, trying to figure out the answer as much for himself as for her. “Yeah. So there’s a bunch of us who grew up together, joined the military, served on the teams together.”

“The SEAL teams?”

“Yeah. That’s what I mean.” He poked her in the side. “You want to tell this, or you want me to? Because this is starting to feel like an interview.”

She laughed and slapped his thigh. “Go on. I’ll stop interrupting. I was only trying to be helpful.”

He tightened his arm around her shoulders. “You were helpful.”

She settled against him.

“But going back to your question—what’s my life like now?” He thought about it. “I’ve got a bunch of good friends. I have a younger sister.” He paused. “I guess I see my role as standing watch, making sure that they're safe, that nothing gives them too much trouble. They live their lives; I stand guard.”

Bea was quiet for a moment. “But that’s about their lives. What about yours?”

He frowned. “That’s what I’m talking about. That is my life.” He knew what she was getting at, though. “I never wanted a home of my own, a family of my own, someone who depended on me.” He could feel her gaze on him and turned to meet it. “I guess what I’m saying is that I never wanted somebody putting their life on hold while they waited for me to come home. First it was deployments. Later it was work.” He looked back out over the valley. “I guess it still is work.”

She didn’t say anything.

He glanced down at her and caught the sadness in her expression. “Don’t look at me like that. I have good friends.”

“I know.”

“And before you say it, people have told me before that it sounds lonely.” He shook his head. “It isn’t; I’m not lonely.” He looked back into the darkness. “I guess it goes back to that word again—I'm free.”

When he turned to her, she held his gaze for a long moment. He could tell she had questions, that she didn’t love the way he described his life. Not many people understood that he’d made a deliberate choice, and so far, nothing had made him want to change it.

She gave him a small nod. “Okay. What’s your sister like? Are the two of you close?”

He cleared his throat. “Brooke’s my favorite person on the planet. She’s a lot younger than I am. A lot. She was what they call an oops baby.” He paused. “Then our parents died young and…” He shrugged. “I thought moving back home would be different. It’s good being closer to her now. But yeah…” He blew out a breath. “She has her own life. She’s doing great.”

He checked his watch. “What do you say? Time to go back to bed?”

It was easy to see that Bea had more questions, but after a moment, she nodded. “I think we probably should. I have a lot of work to do starting tomorrow.”

Something about the way she said it made him uneasy. “Still okay if I stick around to help?”

She stood and offered him her hand.

He let her pull him to his feet and relaxed when she said, “I was rather hoping you would.”