Page 42 of Hostile Saint

CHAPTER NINE

Learning Truths

Misconceptions.

Lies told.

All things for me to hold.

I didn’t know why those words were echoing in my head as the four of us walked further into the woods, but I knew one thing; I was no longer holding on to the lies that I had been fed all my life. After telling my new brothers about what had happened to me, there was an unexpected weight lifted. Every step felt… lighter. Every breath felt… easier.

Letting your heart speak of pain can free your body of dragging around unneeded and unwanted regrets and sorrows. Now that I had a taste of it, I was beginning to understand what true freedom was.

More lies would be revealed. Not only did I know this—due to obvious reasons—but I sensed it. The thing about lies? They force other lies! To stop the madness of an abundance of slippery slopes, the truth had to come forward. I was on that journey of truth.

Questions. I had so many after learning I had a different mother, but I pushed them aside because, in those woods, I had an unscented trail to follow to find my girl. Not just her physical form but the mind that had lost its way. If her memories were lost for good, I was going to have to build a new path to her heart.

“It’s a bit of a hike,” warned Vice as he stepped over a fallen tree, not realizing his words were matching my thoughts.

“Shit,” teased Dagger. “This kid is in better shape than us with all that running.”

Again, words were matching my sentiments. Whatever it was going to take to get any part of my Lacey back, I was up for the challenge.

Vice rebutted, “Dagger, don’t act like we haven’t all taken a turn on that walkin’ machine.”

“It’s true.” VP winked at me. “Daddy Dagger can’t get winded with the ladies.”

“Jesus. H. Christ,” mumbled Lynx. “And I’m supposed to ‘take notes’ from this shit? My woman is in for some trouble as soon as I get my hands on her.”

At that moment, I realized Elle was quite brilliant. She had her man so fixated on a joke she knew would get under his skin, that she was always on his mind.

With a more serious tone, Vice told me, “We won’t take this route every time. We just needed answers. Plus, I thought it would help you to know her journey, for her memory loss.”

“Thanks, Vice. I think you’re right.”

As we stepped out from under a cluster of trees, my head leaned back to welcome the sun and I smiled. With complete honesty, I said, “Thank you for saving my life.”

After several quiet moments, Lynx’s voice replied with a humbling quality, “Do you understand your road name, Pup?”

Full of gratitude, I inhaled fresh air and the hope this man offered me. “No, but I’m okay with it. Feels too good not to like.”

His voice now sounded a little worn and scratchy with emotion. “I have seen so many things through my years. I’ve been a son, a brother, a boyfriend, a lover, a biker, and now a President of a huge organization. I’ve seen anger, rage, and hopeless situations, yet I have never seen such a very young man so full of passion and devotion as I see in you.”

Dagger snuck, “Then you haven’t looked in a mirror,” under his breath.

I don’t think Lynx heard him because he kept talking. “I saw it.” He stared at the ground as we kept traveling. “I saw you that night, as you laid on that bloodied ground, dying—a completely hopeless situation—yet so determined to stay alive… to save her.”

Dagger nodded adamantly. “Clear as motherfucking day, kid. That’s why I told you to think of her. She was key to keeping your dying-ass from walkin’ through them pearly gates.”

“But I thought Doc said all my organs were missed by blades.”

Dagger stumbled to a stop while eyeing Lynx. Then he snarled, “You tell him.”

My eyes raced to his, but those greys looked away and stared into the surrounding woods.

Dagger wasn’t angry as he spoke to me, but full of aggressive beliefs. “If our connections here in Colorado didn’t illegally get you bags of blood, Lacey wouldn’t be havin’ you walking toward her right now.”

I grabbed my chest and fell back four steps. “W-What do you mean?”