Page 74 of Bleed Me

Blackout.

Unless you have actually experienced it, it may be impossible to understand ‘losing’ time. Saint once told me what it was like to experience anesthesia. He said the doc had to knock him out before surgery on his stomach stab wounds. He said it was so weird to just wake up and it all be over with, all bandaged up, when he felt like he had just closed his eyes for a mere second. That’s what it was like for me. I had been kneeling in front of Justice, and now I was kneeling next to Delilah.

Absolutely spooked, I quickly looked around to assess my situation. I had no idea where I was or how much time had passed, but the dark room seemed to be some sort of college dorm. Delilah’s bed was ground level, but her roommate was asleep on a top bunk behind me.

Holy shit. I’m at Delilah’s college?

Terrified I had hurt her, my eyes rapidly scanned her body. She was sleeping, covered up, but restless, sweating and moaning. It was apparent I hadn’t laid a hand on her, but I couldn’t help wondering if her present nightmare was about me.

Delilah hadn’t changed one bit. Her long golden-brown hair was sprawled over her pillow like she was doing a photoshoot. Absolutely stunning creature. Yet, I was seeing her so differently now. Her youth was evident. Mine no longer existed. I felt like an old man admiring the adolescence I once had. Or, at least, I think I once had some. I couldn’t be sure. I think I’d been fighting to survive and care for Jenny since she was born, giving me no time to be a kid.

I think Delilah and I were galaxies apart in so many ways; I was just now able to see that truth. For the first time ever of being in her magnificent presence, my heart didn’t long for her…

Justice.

Did I hurt her when she spoke of Jenny? Was she worried about me? Did she know where I was? How the hell did I get here and why?

As if Delilah could sense me near, her body went on alarm, Delilah’s breathing ramping up. She mumbled, “Kenny,” her head beginning to thrash slightly.

It was clear my dear friend was still suffering… because of me.

Delilah didn’t deserve to be frightened. She was a loving, caring soul. I could barely swallow, so riddled with guilt. I whispered, “I’m so sorry, darlin’. So fucking sorry. You deserve better. I hope this boxer boy is loving you right.” My eyes filling with remorseful tears, I dared to wipe hair from her damp forehead. “Shh… Ya gotta let me go.” Tears spilled in the night. “You gotta tell someone what I did to you.”

One of the last things I wanted was for this precious girl to wake and be terrified, thinking she was seeing a ghost. So, I stood, gave her one more glance, then left the room. I was thankful for the black hoody I wore. It didn’t completely surprise me that it was what I had chosen to wear, seeing where I was headed. To her. It was the last clothing I had worn when being dragged from her life.

In the dimly lit hallway, I was sure to keep my face hidden while trying to figure out how to get out of this girls’ dorm unnoticed. At the end of the hallway, to the left of her room, was a red exit sign.

Outside, I let the door shut behind me while I searched my pockets for my cellphone. It was powered off. Turning it back on, I passed a dark car. The engine wasn’t on, but someone was inside. Blue eyes blinked at me, then the door opened. “Giver?” I hadn’t seen Art in what felt like forever. He seemed shocked by how much I had changed.

We stood there staring at each other. I asked, “Where am I?”

Art blinked again as his chin jutted out in disbelief. “Washington DC, dude.” His cell vibrated in his pocket. Then he paled when he saw who was calling. “What did you do to her?”

“Nothing—”

Leaving me behind, he took off running toward the dorm while answering, “You okay?” I don’t know what Delilah said next, but he replied, “I am. To you.” After a pause, he stopped running. “Want me to come up?” While listening, he faced me. “I’ll be in the horrid family car. Call if ya need me.” He hung up, glaring at me.

I asked, “Did she see me?”

Possibly lost in thought, he shook his head. “Just sounds spooked. Her and Boxer Boy are having some problems—” He shook his head. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Hoping he believed me, I explained, “I don’t know. Just sorta woke up in her room. Came through. I remember nothing but being home with Justice. Then here. In Delilah’s room.”

He wiped a palm down his face. “You made it over halfway across the country with no memory of it?”

“None whatsoever. How did you know where to find me?”

“Diesel called us. He saw your ass driving by when he came out to visit her.”

My heart warmed that Diesel was taking such good care of Delilah. So unlike how I had treated her. My shoulders caved. “How bad have I been since being here?”

“An elusive motherfucker, that’s for sure. Where’s your bike?”

So disappointed I had regressed so epically, I shrugged, barely finding the energy to breathe.

“What now?” cursed Art, until he saw his phone. He put it on speaker. “Justice—”

Justice was in full Road Captain mode, all professional, but by how fast she was talkin’, I knew she was truly frantic. “I’ve followed his latest credit card trail. Couple miles from the school at a roach motel. I’m standing next to his Hog. But no sign of him—”