Page 34 of Bleed Me

Maybe I did manage to scream for her out loud. I’m not sure, but I could hear Justice pushing through bikers and dropping to her knees to grab a hold of my hand. “I’m here. I’m here, James. Fight this. Breathe.”

We had trusted each other from the first day we met. Over the months, that trust had grown and rooted deep. Justice! My mind screamed for her, again. I wanted to clutch her hand in return, desperately, but was unable. I was there, but not. I wasn’t present enough to stop my body from having some sort of full meltdown.

By my head, Saint sounded as if his body was now low to the ground, but he didn’t dare touch me. Because of his girl, he knew crazy. He knew how to stay calm and see her through her mental attacks. That’s why he was so good with me. He whispered, “Brother, hold on. You’re not alone. You hold on.”

So young, and suddenly feeling so alone again, I wanted to tell him what I was seeing, feeling, but even if I had the ability at the time, I wasn’t sure how. I had already learned enough to wonder if this was something the club could handle. Prez once told me not one person in the club was without issues, but was this too much? I was teased endlessly for not fucking Saph. What if they knew who had fucked me?

I begged God, Please don’t let it be true. Please don’t let this be true… but, deep down, I knew it was.

Tears leaked from my eyes. If this club couldn’t accept me, I had nowhere else to go. Steel Stallions MC was my last hope. And, how could I ever say goodbye to Justice?

Justice’s other hand laid on my chest. “I’m here. James, please…”

Her touch was the touch of heaven. My eyes finally found the ceiling. Then searched… Beautiful glass…

Justice.

I’d never seen her scared before, but she was then, for me. Frantically, she nodded. “Yes. I’m right here.”

Justice.

Witnessing some sort of change in me, Saint told everyone, “Let him go. He hears her.” When no one moved, he begged our Prez, “Lynx, you know I know this shit. Please have them back away.” Prez must have nodded to his men because, hesitantly, strong hands loosened then released their firm hold on me. Saint whispered, “She’s right there, brother. Feel her. Keep breathing and come back to us…”

Once there was more room, she scooted closer. “That’s it. It's almost over, Giver.” The closer she was, the more I felt like I was able to breathe again.

After my body slowly released more tension and sunk back into the floor, my lungs started to let me breathe again, and there were sighs all around.

Then they all hissed as I jolted when Saph kissed me. She was blocking my view of Justice. Sapphire whispered, “Sorry,” through a sniffle, then left my room with Brat in tow.

Now that my arm wasn’t so rigid, Justice pulled my hand to her cheek. “I’m right here.”

Prez clamped Saint’s shoulder. “Ya did good, Saint. Real good. Come talk to me when you’re done here. I’ll be outside. I need to know more about that ‘trigger’ shit.” He pointed to his sister, not as pleased, his voice lowering, “You too. We need to talk.”

“Yeah.” We didn’t break eye contact as she pulled a folded belt from my mouth, “Be up in a bit,” and handed it to someone.

My VP.

Standing over me, Dagger took the belt back. “Ya scared the shit out of me, kid.” Him dripping with sweat around his eye patch told me he’d been by my side through the whole attack.

This man, this older figure who was watching out for me, had my respect on such a level I couldn’t describe if I tried. That’s why I wanted to tell him I was sorry for worrying him, but my mouth wasn’t responding to my brain yet.

Maybe he read my expression because, with a knowing nod, he smirked. “Ya crazy fuck. Glad you’re back.” He turned on the lamp on my dresser, then left.

After my bedroom door shut and everyone left us alone, Saint, Justice, and I stayed motionless for a while. They gave me time to come back to my senses before Justice finally asked, “What happened?”

Damn, if that wasn’t a loaded question, I’m not sure what was. “I, uh.” I swallowed. “That club girl… I was asleep.” I swallowed. “Woke to her climbing—” I blew out a shaky breath. “I was on my stomach.” I licked my dry lips. “I… I don’t know after that.”

Justice wiped sweaty hair from my forehead. “Do you know why that, uh—”

She wasn’t sure how to word the attack, so Saint helped with, “Trigger. It sounds like messing with Giver while sleeping, or in a bed, or in the dark, can be something that reminds him of a situation that he prefers to avoid, to put it lightly.”

Justice blew out an exhale, trying to release worry. “Yeah, to put it lightly, for sure.”

My throat was so restricted. “D-Did I hurt her? Were her clothes on?”

Justice snarled. “Who cares? What a slutty bitch.”

“You wouldn’t say that if it were any other biker.” I tried to smile but failed.