Page 38 of Black Waters

“He loves you, Whit.”

She had to believe that. She had to at least know that he truly loved her and was willing to give everything for her. We both were.

Tears flowed as her insecurities surfaced. “I was starting to think I was a fool.”

Pushing a red curl behind her ear, I teased, “Whit? A fool? Never.”

I ached with longing. “You’re one of the two smartest people I know.”

“Who’s the other person?”

I thought of my brother. “You’d be surprised.”

Her hand reached out and touched my face. “Would it bother you if I said… that he reminds me of you?”

She knew exactly who I was speaking of, and I had no idea how. I kissed her palm as a sign of gratitude at the complete compliment. “It wouldn’t bother me one bit.”

“Harlan said that you and I would marry some day.” With a deadpan face, she asked, “Isn’t that funny?”

She watched for my reaction. “He recently told me the same.”

Whit wouldn’t stop examining me. “Do you love me, Link?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

Whit seemed to be getting short tempered. “Link, do you love me?”

Lying to my friend about Crash was something I couldn’t avoid in order to keep her safe. This lie I could avoid. “Yes,” I answered wholeheartedly.

Her lips pursed with suppressed fury. “Is that why I fell for him? Because he reminds me so much of you?”

I didn’t expect her anger. “I—I don’t know what you mean. Do you—”

Those angry lips suddenly slammed against mine. She was pissed. She was confused. She understood how all the pain in her heart could’ve been avoided had I manned up and told her how much I wanted her. Her kiss told me she had wanted me too and how betrayed she felt.

Even though there was rage, we kissed through the wrath. Her tongue viciously searched for mine. I accepted. I would have taken anything she offered.

Dreaming of the love I’d once wanted us to have—to share—I had never imagined the passion we would experience if we ever got the chance. It was ferocious. That one kiss was the most intense sexual experience of my life, and then … it was over.

Out of breath, Whit told me, “Now leave.”

The rest of Chasing Jonah’s lyrics echoed in my mind as I ran across Whit’s backyard.

But you’ll see anything as you want to

Ignore all the things as they are…

Crash had seen through Whit and me all along.

Angry with myself, angry with basically everyone and everything, including the girl of my dreams, who had kicked me out of her house, I dove into the black waters that now resembled my murky, dark life. By the time I was running through my back door, I felt ready to explode! My emotional limit had finally been reached, and there was only one place I could think of going.

My mother’s bare feet pattered across the floor as she rushed to me. It was cruel. My mother was just worried, but I put my hands up to stop her. I needed space. “Whit is fine. I—I need an hour to myself.”

The night air was brisk on my damp clothes as I lay on the grass, staring at the stars. My hand touched the tombstone, wishing it could be Constance. “She kissed me. I finally kissed Whit, and here I am with you.” I laughed in exhaustion. “You told me to kiss you while thinking of her. Jesus, Constance. Kissing her made me think of you!” I closed my eyes in embarrassment. “I’m losing it.” After a few moments, I found myself reaching out to Connie again, the only way I could anymore. “Do you think—do you think I can save them?”

I listened for her reply but heard nothing other than the silent graveyard.

Looking into the darkness—to the distant balls of gases in the sky that have shone for ages—I thought about what a miracle space truly is. If such a miracle exists, maybe… maybe there is more to the universe some say holds a god. I dared to ask, “Constance, if you’re there, out there somewhere, could you send me a sign? Could you let me know that there is hope? And that I can save my brother and best friend?”