Page 77 of Shallow Remains

She shook her head. “I’ve never done this before. I’m not sure I’d be any good at a relationship. And for all I know, you don’t want anything serious. You might want to see other women and bring them here⁠—”

“You’re the only woman who’s been in my bed.”

“I…really?”

“Yes.” From anyone else, he would have taken her other statement as a polite but firm no, thank you. But he understood her well enough now that she was simply expressing what was going on in her head. “I think you’re selling yourself short, and you won’t know until you try.”

She watched him intently. “Does that mean you want this to be a relationship?”

He wanted it more than he’d wanted anything in a long time. “That depends.”

“On what?”

“On whether you’re planning to stay on Skelly.”

THIRTY-NINE

Lachlan didn’t want to put himself out there and get his battered heart broken all over again if there was no chance for them to be together.

She looked out at the marina, the other houseboats floating on the calm surface. “I don’t know. After my current situation resolves, I need to find a more permanent job. I’ve been doing contract work for Blaine, helping him out with some projects, but I can’t expect him to keep throwing me contracts forever. I need to find something full-time with security and benefits. I don’t know if I can do that here in my industry.”

And he’d spent years building up his business and life here. “Seattle’s a huge tech hub. That’s only a ferry ride away.”

“Three-plus hours, each way without any mechanical or weather issues cancelling sailings.” Her tone made it clear she didn’t see that kind of commuting relationship as sustainable.

His stomach sank. His concern about her picking up and leaving one day was valid, confirming he was in for a world of hurt if he continued down this path. But it was already too late for him to walk away.

Maybe she would see he was willing to meet her halfway and how much she meant to him if he showed her the same level of trust he’d placed in her last night. He never talked about it. Only with Grey when forced. But he wanted Maddy to know the truth about him.

“I know it’s a big deal that you told me about what happened in Syria. I want to tell you something about me too.” He didn’t want to hide anything from her—except for the thing even his brother didn’t know. It was better for all of them that way.

She looked at him. “You don’t have to just because I told you what happened to me. I don’t expect that. That’s not why I told you.”

“No, I want to.” He needed to. “But first…” He reached over to hook an arm around her and slide her into his lap, settling her back against his chest and her delectable butt on his groin.

Didn’t help that he knew she was naked under that shirt. “This okay?” Cuddling her like this eased the dread in his stomach, and saying what he needed to was a lot easier without her eyes on him.

“Yes.” She rested the back of her head on his shoulder, her body relaxing into his hold. Telling him without words that she trusted him. “Is it about your wife?”

“Yeah.” He tipped his head back to rest against the edge of the hot tub, stared up at the sky and focused on the feel of Maddy in his arms. The bright stars shining in the inky blue pockets between the drifting clouds. “We met up in Kodiak the summer I was first stationed there after graduating from A school.”

“I watched a documentary about that. A school and Kodiak.”

Of course she had. He smiled a little. “You did, huh?”

“I wanted to know what you and Grey did, so I did some basic research. Sorry I interrupted you.”

“That’s okay, I like that you were curious enough to look it up.” He understood that she often spoke before she’d had time to filter it, especially to people she felt comfortable with. Her bluntness was a compliment. “Kathy was visiting a friend there. We were both young. I was twenty-two, and it was my first duty station assignment.”

“Kodiak is an intense and prestigious posting.”

“It is.” He’d felt honored to be sent there. “I was pretty cocky when I got there, thought I was pretty much invincible, and for some reason she liked me enough to overlook that and stay on Kodiak through the summer. We moved fast.”

Too fast, considering how young they were. Turned out, they hadn’t known shit.

He stroked his thumbs over the backs of Maddy’s hands, folded across her stomach. “After six weeks we moved in together and got engaged that Christmas. A few months later, we flew down to San Diego and got married there so her family could be at the ceremony. Things were okay at first when we got back. But within a year, they were shaky. Kathy had thought she knew what she was getting into as the wife of a rescue swimmer.”

Turned out the reality was a lot different than what she’d envisioned.