Page 4 of Wrong Number, Right Grumpy Sheriff

Me: Remember the watch you made me buy?

Cora: I made you buy it so you wouldn’t become a headline. Your house is a walking death trap.

Cora: But please explain. Pregnancy brain is limiting my cognitive powers over here.

Me: Basically, my watch thinks I fell off a ladder. So it alerted authorities.

Me: Called the new sheriff. Directly. Not even through dispatch. I still don’t know how that happened.

Me: Said new sheriff drove all the way out to the edge of the county because my wrist reported that I fell off a two-step ladder like a Victorian child fainting onto a settee.

Jules:

Jules:

Jules: This would only happen to you. OMG Hope, are you okay?

Me: Terminally embarrassed, but otherwise right as rain.

Cora: Oh, Hope. Was he at least nice about it?

Jules: Forget nice. I wanna know if he’s hot?

Me: How is that relevant?

Jules: Because hotness is always relevant, but especially in these types of situations. Was. He. Hot?

Me: No comment.

Jules: HOPE.

Cora: Pretty sure that means he was seriously hot.

Me: He was fine.

Jules: Fine like meh, he was fine, or fine like you know the precise shade of his eyes and whether or not he looked like a good kisser.

Cora: We need to get you laid, Jules.

Jules: This isn’t about me. This is about Hope and her crazy-hot sheriff; she has a speed dial. Besides, who said I’m not already getting laid?

Me: We’re going to circle back around to that, Jules.

Me: Do you think you can actually expire from extreme embarrassment?

Jules: Answer my question, Hope. You know I’m not going to let it go.

Me: Ugh! He was enormous.

Me: Like so big, his shoulders probably hold up bridges as a side gig. And his jawline. Pretty sure I could use his jawline as a sawhorse.

Cora: Uh-oh.

Me: Don’t even get me started on his voice. Deep and rumbly. And annoyed. So very annoyed. As every word he said was being deducted from a fixed lifetime supply and I was wasting them

Jules: She’s done. Look at her. She’s writing fanfiction about a public servant.

Cora: Wait. I thought Madison Crawford’s husband was the sheriff.