Page 77 of An Affair at Stonecliffe

“This is the only trail we have. You can’t think of anyone from your past who would want to kill Gilbert. You don’t believe it’s Sloane. I cannot imagine how anyone else would benefit. Yet someone has tried to abduct Gil, repeatedly, and someone fired at him that day on our ride.”

“And we have this oddity of several men dying at young ages,” Noelle added.

“Didn’t Gaspard Snowden have an older brother who died when he was young?” Carlisle said thoughtfully.

“Yes, in a climbing accident. Are you suggesting that Gaspard started out by doing away with his own brother?”

“It made him heir to the title,” Carlisle pointed out. “Maybe it gave him the inspiration for the rest of it.”

Noelle nodded. “He does seem the likeliest suspect. Indeed, he looks like the only suspect left. Where does he live—was it Yorkshire? Shall we go there?”

“Yes, but first, I think, to London. It’s time we talked to Freddie Penrose.”

NOELLE WOKE UP before dawn. Carlisle’s arm was around her, enfolding her in his warmth. It was so sweet, so good, to lie here like this with him. In this moment, feeling his breath against her hair, his heart beating in a slow, steady rhythm beneath her head, she could pretend that this happiness would endure, that Carlisle loved her and they would be together, that she would not in a few days have to return to her role as a friend—or not even that, really, merely someone whom he was obligated to protect and help, the mother of his ward.

She had slept little tonight, awakening more than once, her mind churning, her chest aching. How was it possible to feel the sorrow of the future mingling with the pleasure and sweetness of this moment? She wanted to smile and snuggle closer to him; at the same time, she thought she might start to cry.

Around the edges of the drapes, the dark was turning lighter. It was almost dawn. She should go back to her room now, before the arrival of the maid sent her scurrying as it had yesterday. Her throat tightened. Softly, she pressed her lips against Carlisle’s skin, then slipped out of bed and put on her dressing gown. At least she had been better prepared tonight.

“Noelle?” Carlisle’s voice, rough with sleep, came from the bed. “What is it?”

“Nothing. Go back to sleep. I’m returning to my room.”

But he had already slipped out of bed and was pulling on his trousers. He came to her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing the top of her head. “There’s still time. Come back to bed.”

Noelle shook her head, her throat tightening, and after a moment, he said, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Carlisle... I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” he asked carefully, his body going utterly still behind her.

“This.” She swept her hand out in a vague, encompassing gesture. “Creeping back to my bed so I won’t be found out. Deceiving everyone, pretending—I cannot do it. No matter how much I want you, this is wrong. I feel...dirty. I am being the sort of woman you thought I was when you met me.”

“Noelle, no.” He stepped back, putting his hands on her shoulders and turning her to look at him. “I don’t think that. I was wrong to ever assume it. I was arrogant and hard and stubborn. But now, I—”

“I’m not accusing you of still believing I’m a loose woman. But you know that others among your peers believe I am. I cannot afford to give them any further reason to think so. You saw Priscilla’s face yesterday when you said we were staying at your estate; you had to lie, pretend that there were chaperones with us.”

“I made them think Gil wasn’t at Stonecliffe to protect him in case they might be the ones behind this.”

“That’s all very well, but we both know that that was not the reason you said it.”

He frowned. “All right. Yes, I lied to her because I will not let anyone think ill of you. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“I thank you for doing so. But it is wrong because it goes against your nature. You cannot continue to do so, if for no other reason than that someone will recognize the lie. Word will get out. Blast Lady Lockwood for being right!”

“Lady Lockwood! What the devil does she have to do with it?”

“I heard her talking to Adeline. She’s afraid that you and I will cause a scandal. And she’s right—she already suspects, or at least she is afraid of what you and I will do. If she does, so will others. Servants will talk. There will be gossip. It will hurt Lady Drewsbury’s reputation and more, it will hurt her that I deceived her. And Gil—I can’t allow his good name to be tarnished because of his mother’s indiscretions.” She stepped back, drawing a breath to steady herself. “We have to end this.”

“There would be no scandal if you married me,” Carlisle said quietly.

“No!” she cried out, whirling away. It was just as Lady Lockwood had said: Carlisle would marry her, no matter how little he wanted to, in order to prevent a scandal. He would sacrifice his future because of his sense of honor. “That is the last thing I want. Marriage should be about love, not the opinions of others. I believed that when I eloped with Adam, and I believe it still. I will not marry for anything but love.”

Carlisle looked at her for a long moment, his eyes dark, his face immobile. “I see.” He stepped back. “As you wish.” He turned away and picked up his shirt from where it lay on the chair. He pulled it on and began doing up the buttons, his eyes fixed on his task.

Noelle watched him, her heart breaking. If only he would say something. Some secret part of her had hoped that he would deny her words, that he would say he loved her and wanted her to be his wife for no other reason than love. Instead he had simply accepted it, as cool and calm as ever, and gone on to the next task.

“No doubt you are right,” he said now. “Do you wish to go on to London with me? Or would you prefer to return to Stonecliffe?”