Page 75 of A Winter Scandal

“Not until I saw him.”

“Then where is Jocelyn?” Gabriel flung his arms out to the side. “Why is she not here?”

“I have no idea. When I got here, I thought you must be hiding her from me. I stayed, hoping I would be able to catch her somewhere in the village alone. But then when the baby was stolen from Miss Bainbridge’s house, well, it was clear that Jocelyn was not here.”

“Sweet Jesus,” Gabriel murmured. He looked at Rawdon. After all the time he had spent despising the man, it seemed unsettlingly familiar to be standing here talking to him once again. “Then Jocelyn did come here and abandon her child at the church—I cannot believe Jocelyn would do that!”

“Perhaps she assumed that if she left the brooch with the baby, someone would bring him to you. It seems exceedingly trusting, but then Jocelyn is a sweet, naïve girl.” Rawdon paused. “Or at least she seemed so back then.”

“Why would she not simply come to me?”

“Perhaps she was ashamed. If she was not married …”

“But surely she would realize that I would not turn her away. That I would not think ill of her. She must know I would never judge her.”

Rawdon’s eyebrow quirked up and he directed a long stare at Gabriel before he murmured, “Perhaps I am not the best person to respond to that statement.”

Gabriel flushed. “You think I was too quick to judge you? How did you expect me to behave? It was obvious that my sister fled from you!”

“Obvious!” Rawdon stiffened, jamming his fists into the pockets of his coat. “How was it obvious that I was in the wrong?”

Gabriel’s temper was beginning to rise again, too. He could see out of the corner of his eye that people were casting glances in their direction, but his anger was too hot for him to worry about the proprieties. “Because I knew that you had not behaved as a gentleman. I heard what you had done.”

“You ‘heard’? You ‘knew’? Of course you would have believed anything you heard about me, any rumor or calumny. It would never have occurred to you to believe me, would it? Or even to ask!” Rawdon whirled and started away, then turned back. He unbuttoned the first two buttons of his coat and reached inside, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “Here. Read it for yourself. I don’t care. I have nothing left of my pride, anyway.”

He shoved the piece of paper into Gabriel’s hand, then turned and strode away.

Thea had been carefully observing the confrontation between the two men, ready to intervene, and when Rawdon abruptly thrust something at Gabriel and left, Thea hurried over to Gabriel. He was still standing where the other man had left him, staring down at a folded piece of paper in his hand.

“Gabriel? Is everything all right?”

He looked up at her a trifle blankly. “She wrote him a letter. My sister—she wrote him a letter.”

Thea reached out and took Gabriel’s arm. “Come. Let’s go inside. Better to read it there.”

He nodded, letting her lead him back into the house. Thea took him to her brother’s study in the back of the house, where they were less likely to be disturbed, and pulled him down onto the small sofa beside her. “What does her letter say? Is she here in England?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t read it. I’m almost afraid to.” Gabriel gave Thea a wry smile. He returned his gaze to the paper, unfolding it. “It is Jocelyn’s hand; I recognize it.”

He began to read. When he was done, he simply sat for a moment, like a man stunned, then wordlessly handed the letter to Thea. She took it and read what Jocelyn had written.

Dear Alec,

I pray that I may still call you that. It is my earnest hope that despite the transgressions I have committed against you, your generosity will yet extend to reading this note from me. I do not ask for your forgiveness nor do I expect it. But I would entreat you to accept my most heartfelt apology.

You offered me the great and precious gift of your name, and I answered it with deceit and betrayal. I have no excuse.I was young and foolish. I was in love, and I believed myself loved in return. That I was deceived in that regard is no excuse for the deception I dealt to you. In the end, I could not bear to continue to lie to you and everyone I held dear.

I thought all well lost for love, even my good name. I told myself that you would have a better life without me. I hope that this, at least, was true: that your life has been happier and that you have found another who will be the wife you deserve.

I am sorry, truly sorry, for the pain and shame I have brought to you, as well as to my family. I hoped that if I fled to the Continent, I could keep my scandal from tainting everyone else. But now I realize I must return. I can only trust in my brother’s good nature to take me in with the same kindness shown to the Prodigal Son.

Yrs.,

Jocelyn M.

Thea raised her eyes to Gabriel’s still face. “Gabriel …”

“Have I been wrong about him all this time? I was so certain that she had run from him, yet here she is, begging him for forgiveness.”