Page 52 of Hot & Heavy

"I think I smell wedding cake," Sly said.

What you smell is smoke coming out of my ears.

"Dum dum dee dum," Pretty Boy sang.

How would you like to no longer be pretty?

"I know where there's a little chapel we could use," Omar offered.

I know where there's a hole I could stuff you in.

"I could sing," Cage offered.

Yeah. If we want to drive all the dogs in Baghdad nuts.

"Do you have your dress whites here?"

I am not making an event out of this fiasco.

"Can I be your best man?" Cage looked at him hopefully.

"No, me."

"No, me."

"No, me," the rest of them said.

"We can all be best men," Cage offered, and they all smiled their agreement. Except Ian.

This is going to be a sideshow.

"I'm going to go check the Internet to make sure it's all legal and everything," Geek said and left the party.

Oh, yeah. Gotta make this stick.

JAM saw the dismay on Ian's face and and assured him, "It's only temporary. You can get an annulment when you get home."

That's for damn sure.

Avenil came out of nowhere and put a hand on his shoulder. The guy was like a ghost. You never knew when or where he would show up. Into Ian's ear, he whispered, "You're doing the right thing."

Ian, deep down, believed that to be true, too. Otherwise, he wouldn't be allowing himself to be railroaded.

"If this is my wedding eve, I guess this must be my bachelor party, except there's one thing missing," he said, resigned to whatever fate held for him. "Where are the strippers?"

The troll takes a wife, the troll takes a wife, high ho, the…

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" JAM asked.

"If I must," Madrene replied.

Her prospective husband snorted his disgust. Then he whispered into her ear. "I'm doing you a favor, lady. Shape up or I'm out of here."

She looked at JAM, the SEAL who was acting as minister; he had been a priest or almost-priest at one time. "Yes."

"Yes what?" JAM asked.

"Yes, I take the lout to be my husband." Then she turned to the lout. "Now are you happy?"