Page 84 of The Forever Christmas Tree

“Just what I was thinking. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Diane took her other hand.

Walking behind them, JAM added, “Sort of a cleansing of the soul before we head back into the mire,” and Geek laughed.

“I don’t know how cleansed I am, but I might have found a new home. Do you suppose I could move in with your aunt Mildred for a while if I decide to go with the treasure-hunting venture?”

“Why not?” Wendy replied, although Geek was probably kidding. “The more the merrier.”

Which turned out to be more accurate than Wendy had meant. When they got back to the house, they saw several suitcases sitting in the entryway. Aunt Mildred was in the kitchen serving spiked ginger chai tea to the usual gang along with two new additions. Twin octogenarians, Mike and Ike Dorset, who had “escaped” from an assisted-living facility, which they referred to as “the nursing home from hell.”

Oh, Lord!

Their thick white hair and trim bodies prompted Aunt Mildred to whisper to Wendy, “They look just like Bill Clinton, don’t they?”

“More like Phil Donahue,” Claudette interjected.

Both women were clearly interested.

Oh, Lord!

“We got tired of being treated like children at Sunset Shores,” Mike explained. “I mean, what grown man does coloring books?”

The only way they could tell the twins apart was Mike wore a red plaid shirt, and Ike wore a green plaid shirt. Both tucked into nicely pressed khakis.

“I like coloring books. Adult coloring books,” Elmer joked.

Ike ignored Elmer’s jest and said, “We want to dance.”

Raul’s eyes lit up at that remark.

“I do a mean Watusi,” Ike added. “And Mike isn’t too bad at the Monster Mash.”

Oh, Lord!

“The ratio of women to men is about ten to one at Sunset Shores,” Mike continued, as he sipped at his tea. “I got more marriage proposals than Elizabeth Taylor, bless her heart.”

“She’s dead now,” Ike pointed out.

“Isn’t everyone we know?” Mike countered. Then he sighed. “I still get a hard-on when I picture Liz in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”

Oh, Lord!

“Hah! You haven’t had a hard-on since Nixon was president,” Ike said.

JAM and Geek and K-4 and Diane were enjoying this conversation immensely, while Raul and Elmer and Harry were probably wondering where they would fit into the scheme of things if these two moved in.

Aunt Mildred cast a worried look of inquiry to Wendy.

Wendy just shrugged and said, “Merry Christmas!”

Chapter 20

And then the terrible trouble began . . .

Ethan saw Wendy enter the church for Midnight Mass in full military gear. Yeah, he’d known Wendy was in WEALS and that she did all kinds of warrior girl crap, which he didn’t want to think about, but actually seeing her in uniform was a reality check he hadn’t expected. He was shocked.

Any secret hope he might have been harboring was dashed as he saw her and her military friends walk proudly down the aisle to their seats. Especially when he noticed the many stripes and medals on the lot of them, including Wendy. Those kinds of things didn’t come from sitting in an office on a military base. These were active-duty soldiers. Deadly soldiers.

The only thing that would have been more of a “Come to Jesus” moment for Ethan would be to see Wendy carrying a weapon, or worse yet, aiming it at some crazed terrorist. He could picture it now, though.