Page 48 of A Sweet Destruction

I had to laugh at that, a quick little bark. “You really see everything, don’t you?”

Freya lifted one shoulder and considered for a moment. “Everything isn’t technically accurate, but most things, yes.”

"I don’t know what to do.” Both our eyes went slightly wide at that confession. Freya recovered quicker than I did, waiting patiently until I continued. “I’m…I think I’m scared. If the Bond exists, then it should be easy to just give into it, right? But all I’ve ever known was a Bond that made me feel crazy, one that didn’t care what was right or acceptable or possible, just what it wanted. I don’t know how to…” I trailed off, unable to find the words.

“Accept a world where what it wants is also what’s right?” Freya supplied, loosening something in my chest with the words.

I nodded, throat tight again. I just needed to give myself a few minutes to wallow, and then I’d be okay. I had to be okay.

There was too much at stake to fall into a well of despair.

Freya placed a hand on my leg and I almost jolted from the shock of it. I wasn’t the most comfortable with physical affection—not from lack of craving it, from lack of practice. You didn’t go from isolated orphan to rejected paranima without that little side effect.

Where I was largely uncomfortable with it, Freya outright rejected it. For her to offer up touch was…well, it made me feel a little less crazy for feeling as horrible about all this as I did.

Some small part of me was saying that I should be happy about this, thankful the Bond finally woke up, but it didn’t feel that easy.

Unsure whether resting my hand on top of Freya’s would be too far, I moved slowly, meeting her eyes as I did. When she didn’t move away, I settled my hand down on top of hers and squeezed lightly in thanks.

Freya’s cheeks tightened then released, not quite a flinch. More like she was bracing herself, then realized there was no need to.

“The Empire is not happy. First an attack on Bellamy, then the camp. They want retribution,” Freya said, moving right into business.

“Where’d you hear that?” I asked, grateful for a moment of distraction, even if it was for this.

Freya shrugged in a forced show of humility. “Overheard Dulik chatting with General Iroko.”

And by overheard, she likely meant actively spying, but she got the information all the same. I breathed in deeply, my body already preparing for this next mission. “The Prince, I assume.”

Freya nodded. “Likely. He’s the heir, but I think they just want to hit the Royal family in some way. They outnumber us there, and it’s too difficult to defend on this side. The Empire wants to force their hand.”

It was true. If our estimations were correct, Muli outnumbered us two to one in population, let alone the fact that their people were, on average, stronger than ours. While their side of the Bridge was in the middle of rich forest, able to support a sprawling war camp miles deep if needed, ours was in the middle of the desert.

The type of infrastructure it would take to support an entire defensive army…

That was why we Crossed—it was far easier to prevent people from entering the Bridge than trying to take down every Muli soldier that managed to Cross into Vir.

Still, simply winning this war was never the Empire’s goal. “The Emperor wants leverage, but for what?” I asked Freya, though I had ideas of my own.

Freya’s eyes flashed with something, turning the brilliant green slightly silver. If I wasn’t mistaken, I’d think it was fear, though it was different than the rare flashes of the emotion I’d seen from her before. “Power. Based on what Bellamy has said…I think he wants to force a treaty—but one that makes sure Vir has access to Muli’s resources.”

I scoffed with indignation. This was really all too predictable. “And funneling straight through him.”

Freya’s answering laugh was full of ire—well as much as she was able to conjure up. Most people thought she was naturally sweet. I’d learned over the years that she was just good at hiding the depth of what she felt, particularly the uglier emotions. “Hard to take someone out of power when they are the only person stopping you from going to war.”

I shook my head, mind racing with potential next steps. As much as I didn’t want to disrupt what Bellamy and Soren had found, it was really a shame that the Prince had rescinded his offer of marriage. That would have been the Emperor’s perfect solution.

Unless— “Do you think he’s going after the Princess? Another arranged marriage?”

“Ambrose is not the political savant the Emperor would need,” Freya snapped back lightning quick. It took me a beat to long to realize that she was talking about the heir to the Greene family. The next Royal family to pick up the mantle to lead the Empire after the current Emperor passed it along after his seven year rule, the way his predecessor and theirs before them had. If he did so at all.

I’d just only known him as the Greene heir or in my snotty moments, that green Greene kid. I was surprised Freya remembered his first name, though I guessed there had been much more discussion of Royals with Bellamy and Soren around, swapping stories of their childhood in the Royal court.

My mind diverted to the other Royals, who could be another match for the Prince or Princess, someone to use as political leverage. I never got the chance to dive too far into that rabbit hole, because a younger, pale-faced solider poked his head right into my hiding spot and said, “Excuse me, Esme, but Ford is asking for you.”

My jaw clenched. He didn’t get to order me around like I was some dog, sending a young soldier to do his dirty work. Who did he think he—

“I think he wants you to see his family,” Freya whispered, the voice of reason I needed.