Page 26 of A Sweet Destruction

Unfortunately for me, so did Esme.

Chapter 8

Esme

You left me.

The first words the Bond said on its return, crawling out of its cage and scraping its claws all over my sanity.

I should have known it would take the first opportunity I gave it to attack me. I’d been distracted, already mentally exhausted from the day before and physically from a night of trying to meditate myself into a restfulness that kept evading me.

Only further distracted by the way I’d found Ford, standing tall on the top of the hill, sledgehammer curled in his large hand, making it look like a children’s toy.

Bellamy had tried to get me to greet him and Soren with her, arguing that I had no choice but to interact with him, and the quicker I readjusted, the easier it would be.

I knew she thought she was helping, thought she knew what it was like to suppress the Bond. She hadn’t suppressed it, she’d just delayed it.

Despite the fervor with which her and Soren resisted it at the beginning, they’d known deep down they’d fully accept it one day. Hell, they basically had the first second they saw each other again.

That was not the same thing as the Bond looking for its twin in another, only to come up empty, then turning that betrayed rage back on you.

It was better to stay put, though I couldn’t bring myself to turn my back on Ford.

Overnight, the way he was looking at me, full of keen observation, was shifting into something deeper. I could have sworn I felt the pressure of his eyes on me like it was his hand instead, lingering on my arms, then moving to my shoulders, then landing somewhere near my midsection before snapping over to Bellamy on her arrival.

Still, even as I felt my mind shift, like two tectonic plates sliding against one another and opening up a crevice in the earth, I didn’t focus my energies.

It was the opening the Bond needed.

And when the wind turned downhill and Ford’s scent managed to reach me, that incessant, pleading entity finally broke out of the medicated daze I’d shoved it into.

You left me, it repeated, growling the words this time. Already angry that I was ignoring it.

Even as my blood turned to ice, I managed to respond. I will kill you. I did it once, I can do it again, making sure my words were punctuated, so the Bond wouldn’t miss the threat.

That’s mean, the Bond said, its voice thick with the same whimper a dog made when you denied it a treat.

You’re mean, I shot back, swatting at it like a fly. Irritation built so fast, it felt like waves sweeping my feet out from under me.

I could feel the Bond’s frown as viscerally as if I was watching it happen in front of me. No. I’m very nice. Also helpful. Should I remind you how I—

Shut UP! I all but stomped my foot to emphasize my point.

Something pulled tight in my midsection, and I snapped back into focus just in time to see Ford pick up his strides towards me, nearly at a run.

Without thinking, I turned on my heel and started to run myself, all of the sudden terrified of what I would do if I was in his presence now that the Bond was back and I didn’t have the luxury of hiding any bad behavior.

I could barely spare a second thought for how that would look to an outsider, me running full sprint away from my Soul Mate. Though I wanted to run and run and run away from him, I diverted to a crowd, heading straight for where everyone was gathered for breakfast.

Stopping just inside the group I sucked in a heaving breath.

Why are you running? Oh boy, the Bond did not sound happy with me.

Too bad.

“Damn, Esme, we’re not going to run out of food.”

“Fuck you, Anderson,” I snapped back at the soldier of thirty that I’d known since he was a gangly twenty-two year old who hadn’t grown into his height yet.