Page 148 of A Sweet Destruction

Start talking, I scolded myself. If I let this go on too long, I’d dissolve into a fit of hysterics and we’d get nothing done.

“My love,” I said, far more broken than I intended it to be. I would have preferred it to sound warm and inviting, but a hoarse whisper was all I could manage.

It was enough to get Ford to open his eyes. A stuttered start, opening then closing them again with a wince. Deep down, I knew that he thought he was hearing things.

I’d been there many times myself. I stayed patient, even as his thumb started to swipe over my pulse point in a way that made my knees weak.

On his second start, he opened his eyes fully and our gazes snagged together and held for a heavy beat. I pressed on, if not to distract from the fact that Ford’s eyes were glazed over with the threat of tears.

“I love you.” I left that there for a second, repeated it even softer under my breath, making sure Ford heard it, before I continued. “I lied to Elijah and to you. It was so, so unfair of me to lie, but I thought there could be a way for you to keep living if you thought I—”

My words were cut off by the hard press of Ford’s mouth against mine. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how deeply I’d needed that contact. I’d only experienced it for such a short time, I was still working to let myself acknowledge it.

“No. Never.” Ford said against my mouth, in between the breathtakingly gentle pressure of his lips.

He let my wrists go, settling his hands on my shoulders then sweeping down my back.

I rolled my forehead against his, trying to maintain some form of composure, but failing spectacularly. I had the deepest urge to try and crawl into his skin. “I thought that if you could take that suppressant…” Ford’s hands tightened around my back in silent protest. He was right. He knew what I’d been trying to do well enough. Maybe later on, I could try to convince him that he might have done the same—anything to try and keep me alive.

For now, I focused on what would chase away the pain still lingering in his expression. “I wanted that to be the last thing I said to you. How much I love you, how I would go through this all again just to know you, how I would miss—”

This time, Ford’s mouth was more insistent, a little rougher. There was even a scrape of his teeth against my lower lip. When he spoke, his words sounded like they punched their way out of his throat. “You really need to stop reminding me what just happened. I feel like I’m going insane.”

I smiled against his mouth, too quick for him to notice and causing him to lick across my teeth. That only made me let out a laugh that some might have considered a giggle. “With…love?”

Ford’s answering smile was a little lopsided, pulling wider on the side without the scar. “Among other things. You should hear the Bond right now.”

“I’m sure it’s having a field day,” I said, considering that the Bond on my end was currently engaging in a performance that could only be described as acrobatic. “But I’m more interested in what you are thinking.”

There was something in Ford’s expression that made me think he hadn’t quite believed me until now. Or maybe he did, but this was the final tip over the edge that he needed, the reassurance that I wanted him, not that I was bowing to the Bond.

He kissed me soundly on the mouth. “I’m thinking that I love you.” Another one, on my right cheek. “That you are my favorite person in the world.” This time the left. “That you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He fell to his knees then, taking my right hand in his and kissing the snake inked into the back of it. “That I’m glad our Mark is so big, that’s there’s no mistaking I belong to you.” His mouth transferred over to my left hip, where the end of our Mark curled in.

I really didn’t know how he expected me to stay standing. I didn’t drop to my knees so much as I fell right on top of him, my arms going around his shoulders and my mouth falling to his in a sloppy kiss that lasted no more than a second before I was grabbing his face in my hands and planting scattered pecks over every inch while repeating, “Love you. Love you. Love you,” until he believed me.

He clearly felt something, because on about the ninth kiss, Ford hauled me to my feet and took a healthy step back.

I had no idea why he was stopping, my only thought that he expected someone to come bother us. “I think everyone will give us some time, don’t you?”

Ford smiled, seemingly despite himself and whatever internal battle with control he was fighting.

Unfortunately for him, I still had a very physical reaction to his full-bodied smile and I felt a fiery blush bloom from my hairline down to my toes. My heart rate took off and I brought a hand to my chest, if not to try and keep it from exploding.

Ford’s eyes followed the movement, then his attention settled on my neck and his smile fled.

God damnit. I was going to have to full-scale seduce him, wasn’t I?

Bringing his hands up to my face—far more gently than I would have preferred at the moment—Ford said, “I almost lost you. I just got you.”

Now, I was really worried my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I didn’t think the knife to my throat hurt this much. “Ford, you always had me.” I felt a tear slip out, catching on the side of Ford’s thumb.

He shook his head, his fingers pressing into the back of my head. “No. I want you honest and I want you happy.” Seemingly despite himself, he leaned down to kiss me. “I earned you this time.”

“You have me,” I said, my face slick with tears. I repeated it against the skin of his cheek, his jaw, his neck, each time a little more hurried.

Ford’s hands gently moved my face away, so that he could lick a path up my cheek, taking my tears with him.

He was so gentle, so intentional, that it only brought more tears to my eyes. At his horrified expression, I said, “Give me something else to focus on, then.”