Page 107 of A Cruel Kindness

Bellamy

My third cup of coffee was in front of me.

The first was minutes after I woke up on the floor, realizing that I’d followed Soren down there at some point during the night.

My second was with Esme and Freya, needing an excuse to busy my mouth with something other than blurting out every torrid emotion running through my head.

The third was to keep me rooted in this chair, out on the deck of the main house, so that I didn’t march down to the stables and head off with Clover to go find Soren.

Esme told me that he’d gone with Ford to the abandoned camp, though she couldn’t tell me where. I restrained a quip about wishing she acted like a normal paranima obsessed with their Soul Mate’s every move at the last second.

She didn’t deserve to be subject to my pain. Especially when I was pretty sure she wasn’t free of her own.

The ceramic creaked and whined under my brutal grip, but I had the weight of my own ire pressing down on me, combined with Clover’s grumbling and the distant feeling of Soren’s discomfort.

I knew something was wrong, but it was likely it was just the irritation of realizing what our lives looked like from now on. I couldn’t burst into that abandoned camp if that was the case.

Still, a cold sweat was building over my brow.

I don’t like this, the Bond grumbled.

I agreed. This wasn’t right, having to leave Soren to his own anguish, no matter the cause. We were supposed to help each other through it. We weren’t two halves of a soul, but rather two complete souls that recognized their mate in another.

One that could understand them to their very core, that could push you past your fully evolved self into something even greater.

We weren’t supposed to be ignoring each other. We weren’t supposed to be marrying other people.

My commitment started to wane the more my thoughts took off, unable to accept a world where Soren was anything other than the love of my life.

I guess he still could be.

He just wasn’t going to be my husband.

A lone tear fell down my cheek, dripping onto my arm. I looked down, watching as the droplet of water slid off my arm then darkened the wood of the chair underneath.

I heard the hooves first, the distinct crashing sound as strong legs flattened ground beneath them.

Help him, the Bond pushed, and I was out of my chair a second later. My mug discarded and running without a clear destination in mind.

“Bellamy!” Freya called from behind me. I didn’t turn to see if she followed.

Clover whined and begged as I ran through the stables, but I hoped she understood that I wasn’t ignoring her.

For good reason, because when I pushed through the stable doors and out into the open field the horses used to work off energy, all I saw was Soren.

There were other people there besides Ford, I could tell that much.

Despite it, all my focus landed on Soren and the crestfallen look on his face. A look that only fell further when he saw me, breathless and waiting.

“What happ—” Freya cut herself off when she saw what was before us. She shared a look with Soren quickly, one that was so loaded with memory I didn’t know what to make of it.

Ford looked haunted, plagued with something that sucked all the light out of him. Behind him stood four soldiers I didn’t recognize, standing without any pack or belongings. Just the clothes on their back, though they looked rather clean.

The Bond yanked me towards Soren before I could remind it not to. Lucky pressed his snout into my shoulder as Soren hopped down.

Tension snapped between us, the Bond on both sides begging us to move closer.

I curled my fists at my side. Soren clenched his jaw. Neither of us moved.