Page 102 of A Cruel Kindness

Seven hours had never passed so slowly. I’d spent most of it internally bargaining with the Bond. Every conversation was about the same.

Can we go sit next to him?

No, we can’t.

Why not?

Because that wouldn’t be right.

But he’s our Soul Mate. Why wouldn’t that be right?

That was where my ability to argue ended. I didn’t have a response that would satisfy either of us.

I felt numb, entirely drained. Every time I tried to focus on something other than that empty feeling, my mind went straight to every horrible possibility for my future.

And the one person I wanted to turn to for comfort wouldn’t look at me.

The worst part of it all was that I understood.

If our roles were reversed, if the Muli Prince had actually been a Princess and it was Soren they offered up as a bargaining chip, I would go insane.

I’d never experienced jealousy before. I didn’t even think it was the right word for it. The feeling in my chest was much darker, much heavier.

I couldn’t even bear the thought of it, so if Soren was actively living it and felt the need to put distance between us … I’d make myself respect it.

No matter how much my body craved his touch.

We arrived at the Bridge in a non-frills entry, simply striding through the front door. Williams—the soldier in charge of my early days of training—informed us that Freya and Adam were going to escort us across within the hour.

Williams was a general. He probably knew that it was important that we Cross as quickly as possible, if he wasn't already aware of the information I carried with me.

While we waited in the sterile room they had prepared for the Cross, Soren paced back and forth, refusing to look at me.

It was an effort not to cry.

Freya bounded in with Adam on her heels a second later. Adam was a little more sprightly than the Arthur, more likely to smile.

It was why I hadn’t noticed the gravity between Freya and her supposed Match until we’d gone to Muli.

Freya caught onto us immediately, her eyes swinging between me and Soren in confusion. The last time she’d seen us, we’d been fairly loved up.

Now there was a healthy five feet of distance between us. I caught her eye and shook my head, begging her not to push it.

She was gracious, the type of friend who would respect the fact that I could barely form a hi let alone a full explanation on what happened. I needed to work up the courage to tell anyone at all about what was in store for my future.

To protect me, Freya made it seem like we were in a rush to Cross, hurrying us along without another word about how our trip had been. Soren seemed to catch on, going along with the motions.

When the doors to the Bridge creaked open, spilling bright light into the room, I had less than a second to prepare for what was about to happen before Soren grabbed my hand.

If I thought the first Cross was painful, this was an entirely different beast. It was almost as if the Bridge could sense the rift between us and was punishing us for it, annoyed that we were wasting the gift we were given by resisting the Bond.

It felt like an animal was clawing at my chest, ripping back the skin and breaking through bones and muscle and flesh in search of my heart.

When I tried to turn my neck to look at Soren, I thought I broke it, the pain was so intense. His jaw was hard, clenching down on the joint.

That hurt the worst, watching him bite down and try to best the pain. Tears welled at my eyes, for him rather than myself.

I blinked them away as fast as I could, knowing it would do no good for either of us. He’d want to wipe them away, I’d want him to.