Page 146 of The Gods Forbid

Felt the sun itself start to work its way into my body, bringing art, music, truth, healing, and every other power under Apollo’s control into my limbs.

I could almost see it, the bright-white of Sebastian’s power moving from his body into my hands. I understood what he meant about my hair now. It looked identical.

That was how it was supposed to be. He had his power and my hair was a reminder of it.

I wasn’t supposed to take his power too.

The truth of it all slammed into me, bringing the power with it. It flooded me, warming my body like alcohol’s effects settling in.

“Oh, love,” I said, barely aware of the words falling from my lips. It just kept coming, his power pouring from him to me.

He’d made me his heir.

He’d made me his heir and it was the worst thing he could have done to me. That wasn’t an honor. It wasn’t a gift. If I was his heir, that meant he was dead.

I didn’t want the power. The second I rejected it, it started to burn, like sun on unprotected skin.

No, worse. It felt like I was getting burned from the inside out. The pain was so intense, a scream ripped itself from my throat before I could stop it.

My heart felt like it was tearing itself apart, each little fiber and tendon snapping as I looked down at Sebastian’s pale face and realized he’d left me.

Another scream followed closely, though this one was a word. No.

My body took over then, pushing out tears and anguished cries and anything it could think to make the pain go away. My mind felt detached, so much so that it felt bad for my body.

It didn’t know how to deal with the fact that Sebastian was dead.

“I don’t want it,” I said, louder than I’d intended. I wanted to shout it in Sebastian’s face, forcing him to come back. Maybe I was shouting.

There was pushing and shoving and a lot of commotion around me, but I couldn’t process any of it. I could hear the distant sounds of my name being called. I could see cameras flashing. I could hear thunder rumbling.

But all I could focus on was trying to get Sebastian’s power out of me and back into his body. It was his.

He deserved it. He loved it. It had no place in my hands.

“I don’t want it!” This time, it was a scream. My voice hurt from yelling, but my body felt out of control. Everything was harsher, more intense. “Take it back.”

I wasn’t sure what I was doing or if it would even work, but I pushed my hands into Sebastian’s chest, barely feeling the weak beat of his heart beneath my palms, and focused on the power he’d forced upon me.

It was light in its purest form, so bright it almost burned. And I wanted it gone. I pushed and pushed, focusing on shoving each and every bit of it that tried to cement itself into my skin away from me.

Back to Sebastian. Back to Apollo.

I’d started crying at some point, hot tears streaming down my face. There were people trying to talk to me—I knew that, too.

I didn’t listen. I didn’t care.

“Take it back,” I said again, my words breaking off on a sob that made my chest feel like it was splitting apart. I was pushing everything I had towards him, using my own power to chase away the sunlight with dark, threatening clouds.

I could feel it leaving, the gray and violets replacing the yellows and oranges. Light and medicine and art and music leaving my body and moving back into Sebastian. When I felt so drained I was sure my skin looked gray and sickly, I finally allowed myself to breathe.

To look down at Sebastian’s face, at his eyes closed and his lips parted.

And I broke. Something broke or tore or splintered apart, I was sure of it.

Whatever it was, I’d lost control of myself. My tears were coming in screams now, loud shouts where I was begging Fates knew who and pleading for someone, anyone to bring Sebastian back to me.

At some point, I’d folded myself over him, sobbing into the rock hard chest that I’d only had the chance to fall asleep on a few times. Oracle help me, that was so cruel.