Page 102 of Above ’N’ Beyond

Still holding her beer, Bella picked up the bags, then came around the sofa to set them on the coffee table. Jax stuck his head in the bags and snorted noisily. “Sorry, Jax.” She tugged his head from the bag. “Not for you.” To Jamie, she said, “Gnocchi is at least twenty pounds heavier than when you last saw him. Could be he was just so malnourished when we found him. At the rate he’s growing, he might be as big as Jax one day.” She laughed nervously. “I’m babbling.”

“I like it when you babble.” He liked it when she did just about anything.

Jax went to a corner and lay down. Gnocchi promptly lay down next to him, plopping his head on Jax’s belly as if they’d never been apart.

As much as Jamie wanted to pull Bella into his arms and never let her go, he put down the beer and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. Nothing he could ever say or do could possibly make up for how much he’d hurt her. She was here for a reason, but the ball was in her court.

“May I sit down?” she asked quietly, and when he stepped aside, she set her beer on the table and sat on the sofa. “I brought you some dishes for the new restaurant. They’re experimental, and I need to test them out on someone.” She bit her lower lip. “I hope you like them. There’s plenty for everyone, including your family.”

“Thanks.” He sat next to her, leaving a good two feet between them. “I’m sure we’ll love whatever you brought.” And he was sure they were listening in, too. Especially Ari and his mother.

Bella twisted her hands on her lap. “Thank you for paying my lease for a year. You didn’t have to do that.”

Jamie shook his head. “I did. My actions took everything from you. I didn’t go into this intending to hurt you. I’ll never be able to make up for that or say how sorry I am.” He only wished he could have done more. If he’d had the cash to buy her the damn place outright, he would have.

She held up her hand. “Let me finish. Please. If—no, make that when—the place is in the black, I’ll pay you back.”

“No!” He shoved a hand through his hair. “I don’t want your money. That was a gift. Just accept it, will you?”

Bella sighed, then looked through the large plate glass window overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. “Okay,” she whispered. “If you insist, but I have my own conditions. If you won’t take my money, then accept my food.”

He inhaled the warm, rich scents of whatever was sitting in those bags she’d brought. “Gladly.”

“I’m not talking solely about what’s in these bags,” she added. “You and your family are welcome anytime at the new restaurant for free meals and cappuccinos for life.”

“That’s too generous.”

“No, it’s not,” his sister whispered loudly from the kitchen, confirming what he suspected. That his entire family was eavesdropping.

The corners of Bella’s lips lifted. She’d heard Ari, too. “It’s not too generous,” she insisted. “You said you owed me. I owe you something as well. As painful as it was to lose the Bistro, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve been living under Paola’s iron hand for too long. Now I’m free, and it’s because of you. Free to prove to myself that I can make a go of it and be a success without her.”

“I told you that you could.” And he’d meant every word.

“What I don’t want to do is make a go of things without you.”

Huh?

“One of your friends, Kade, and your father paid me a visit,” she continued. “I had a very nice chat with your father. Is it true what he said? That you’re in love with me?”

More than you’ll ever know. But he hadn’t actually said that to his dad. And he hadn’t known his father had paid her a visit.

“Please answer me.” The smooth skin on her forehead creased. “If it is true, I need to hear it. From you.”

Jamie took a deep breath, then swallowed. “It’s true. I love you.” More than he could say, more than he could possibly show her, even if he lived to be a thousand. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m not good enough for you. I’m working on being better, but I’m not there yet.” For a brief moment in time, she’d helped him to see the kind of man he wanted to be. The kind he wasn’t yet.

Being so close to her, but not being able to touch her, kiss her, or hold her in his arms, was cracking his heart wide open all over again, but he refused to bring her down with him. He needed to end this before there was nothing left of him but a sad sack blubbering idiot. “Bella, I—”

“Shh.” She leaned over and touched two fingers to his mouth, silencing him. Her touch was a laser, scorching him from the outside in. Never in his life had anyone had that power over him. Only she did. “You are a good person, and you are a good man.”

He shook his head adamantly. “You’ve got that wrong.” Unbelievably wrong. The ugly, soiled soul festering deep inside him would probably always be there, dragging him down into a deep dark hole he could never crawl out of.

“I don’t have it wrong.” She cupped his face. “If you weren’t good inside, I wouldn’t be in love with you. As for becoming a better man, I’d like to help you with that.” She pushed from the sofa, then plunked down on his lap and looped her arms around his neck. “I love you, Sergeant Pataglio, and I want to be part of your life.”

He must have misheard her. After all the terrible things he’d done to her—turned her life completely upside down and shattered her dream—in what alternate universe could she possibly love him?

Skepticism must have shown on his face.

Bella gazed down at him with so much emotion he dared to long and hope for things he’d never thought possible. “Would you agree that if you make personal sacrifices for love that you’re a good person?”