Page 57 of Blood Money

Gray caught her gaze and held it. “So did Anika, a dozen children, and most of my unit.”

Cassie released his arm and leaned back in her chair. The look of understanding in her eyes about killed him. She and Dom were the only ones who knew the details of what transpired on that hellish day in Afghanistan. Cassie, because she was closer to him than anyone else in his family. Dom, because he was there.

“I’m not suggesting that you ever forget what happened,” she said softly. “I would never do that. I’m only suggesting that you not compare Marina to Alex, or judge Alex by a greedy woman’s actions. Alex’s choices were made out of love, not malice, and certainly not to make a quick buck. Somewhere in that iron-hard heart of yours, you know it’s true.”

Gray swallowed to keep the bile from rising in his throat. He didn’t like to think of that day. Every time he did, it sliced up his guts until he was a bloody mass of worthless shit. Against his will, Marina’s laughing face flickered before his eyes. He’d protected her, trusted her, and paid a steep price. As had others, including Dom.

He massaged his forehead with both hands. “It’s not that easy to get past the anger, and it’s not that easy to trust again.”

“I’m guessing Alex has trust issues as well,” Cassie added. “I gather she’s had to fend for herself and her child alone for years. Relying on a man to rescue her might not be as easy for her as you assume it should be. As for whether she’s on the Pyramid’s payroll, even Mike believes she’s not, and he’s the most suspicious man I know. Second only to you.” She smiled. “That’s probably why you both get along so well.”

Gray smiled back, but it didn’t last. “Alex spent half the money the Pyramid gave her. Makes her look guilty as hell.”

“If you can’t fathom the reason she spent some of that cash, all you have to do is take one look at that little boy upstairs.” She waved her arm in the direction of the hallway steps. “The only thing she’s guilty of is loving her child to the point where she’d do anything to keep him safe. You told me about Nicky’s illness and how expensive those experimental treatments are. An NYPD admin doesn’t make enough to pay for that, and you know it.”

Gray opened his mouth to interrupt, but Cassie held up her hand.

“I would lie, cheat, steal, or kill for my unborn child,” she continued. “So you should cut Alex some slack for spending that money.” She rested her hand on his forearm again. “And if you don’t find a way to get past Afghanistan and all the mistrust you brought back with you, you might miss out on the most important thing in your life.”

“What’s that?” Again Gray sensed that familiar cold, dark feeling threatening to suffocate him at the mention of Afghanistan.

“Love.” Cassie squeezed his arm before releasing it.

He stared into his mug at what remained of his coffee. Cassie was right. But he doubted he could ever forget the trust that had been so callously abused.

…

Alex paused in the kitchen doorway. The only words she made out before Gray and Cassie stopped talking were something about Afghanistan, mistrust, and love.

The expression in Cassie’s emerald green eyes was one of utter compassion. From the furrows on Gray’s handsome forehead and the haunted look in his eyes, Alex could see he was both angry and sad. She’d never seen him look that way before and doubted it was a side of him he would reveal to many people. Watching him in pain made her heart ache to comfort him.

Not your place.

But she was left wondering if Gray had loved someone in Afghanistan. Someone who betrayed his trust? That would certainly explain why he was so rigidly incapable of believing in her.

She didn’t know what had happened to Gray in Afghanistan. The only intel she’d garnered from the gossip circuit about his years in the military was that he’d been assigned to a special forces unit that was all but slaughtered. Along with a hospital full of civilians.

Did Gray love a woman who died in that hospital?

The thought made her want to weep for his loss. It also made her realize there could be another reason Gray would never love her. Perhaps he could never forget the love he lost.

Alex cleared her throat. “Any more of that coffee?”

In an instant, Cassie’s face went from sad to happy. “Of course, come in and have a seat.” She gestured to another chair. To pull off such an instantaneous change in demeanor, Gray’s sister must really be as good at undercover work as her reputation in the department implied. “Are you hungry? I have a platter of samplers I’m testing out for the new restaurant.”

When Alex shook her head, Gray locked gazes with her. Unlike his sister, Gray didn’t make any attempt to convey happiness at her presence. He seemed troubled at her walking in on them.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted something,” Alex said before sitting.

“Nonsense.” Cassie got up and poured a cup of coffee, then set it on the table in front of Alex. “Gray and I were just catching up.”

“I have to make some calls, then we’ll head back to the city.” With a troubled look on his face, he went out the back door and onto the porch.

Through the kitchen window, Alex watched him sit at a table and massage his forehead. A second later, he reached for the phone on his belt and put it to his ear. She turned to find Cassie watching her with that now-familiar mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

“He’ll get over it, you know.” Cassie set a ceramic sugar bowl and creamer on the table. “His past and his present issues. Then he can focus on this thing between you two.”

“There is no thing between us,” Alex said sadly.