Page 46 of Cooped Up for Christmas

And how like him to pick the most inconvenient time to pop by!

“I’m sorry, Dirk. I’m working right now. We’re pretty busy.”

“Sure. Sure. I won’t take a minute.”

He took my arm, though, and led me through to the foyer, where we could speak more privately. “So,” I asked in an I-really-don’t-have-time-to-listen-but-I’m-listening-because-you’re-making-me tone. “What is it?”

“What is it?” He put his hands on my shoulder. “I missed you, Victoria.”

Had he? I grinned. “I bet you weren’t alone though.”

His responding smile was crooked, but not guilty in the least.

I looked him straight in the eye. “You should know, I haven’t been either.” I cleared my throat. “Alone, that is.”

“Good for you,” he said, offering me a high-five.

Sigh.

You know how sometimes really small things can trigger a thought, or a memory, or an epiphany?

It was that high-five for me. I knew. I just knew in that split-second.

I was completely, totally, and utterly head-over-heels in love with Cooper. It was Coop and it always had been Coop, since the day we’d met and he’d stepped on my shoe. It would never ever, ever never be anyone else. Never. Ever.

Not that I didn’t love Dirk. I did. But I loved him the way I loved Olivia, or Ben, or Jed with his murdery movies and probably-stoned haircut, the goofball.

So had Dirk come to break up? Or propose? Or just say, hey?

It didn’t matter to me, because I knew what I wanted. It sure-as-wee-Willie-Winkie-wanks wasn’t him.

But I did love him. So I hugged him again. “I can’t believe you’re here. It’s great to see you. But we are in the middle of setting up an event. Maybe there will be time to chat later. Do you want to stay the night? There’s an empty bunk in the loft.”

He put out a lip. “What about your bed?”

“Coop’s in my bed. It’s his bunk you’re taking.” I patted him on the chest. “Lucky you. I hear Christie’s single.”

“So, wait.” His adorable brow ruffled. I closed my fist on the urge to brush back his boyish forelock, gelled to perfectly seduce a woman’s touch. “Are you choosing him?”

He always had been quick to catch on.

I held his gaze. “Yeah. I think so. Are you okay with that?”

He nodded. “I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah. I’ll miss you too.” But we’d just been placeholders for each other, and we both knew it. Placeholder is no way to live your life. You need someone who puts you first. Even if it’s just you putting yourself first. And let’s be honest. When you’re in a placeholder relationship, you cede nearly as much of your autonomy as you do in a love match. I deserved better than placeholder, and so did Dirk. I looped my arm in his. “You’re still welcome to stay. Christie is single. And I hear she hardly snores at all.”

“Right.” He chuckled as he pulled away. “I don’t think I will. But…” He paused. Held my gaze. “Be happy, Vic.”

“You too, Dirk. Be happy.”

After a quick hug, and a salute at the door, he was gone.

I felt sorry and sad if I’d hurt him, but it didn’t seem as though I had. Not really. Regardless, the fullness of my feelings for Coop could no longer be denied. They erupted from my chest like the alien in, well, Alien. No more keeping it in. No more denial. No more stupid fear. I was all in with Coop because my heart told me so.

And, this time, I believed it.

Chapter Eleven