Page 24 of For The Love Of A Widow

Had he and Lettie aged—decaying as the years passed?

He’d like to think that neither of them were worse for wear due to the years passing, but wiser and stronger than they’d once been.

“Have you thought of what life holds for you next, Lettie?” Again, he thought he’d never tire of saying her name aloud.

“I have only been in town a week,” she said, resuming their slow walk. Dried leaves crackled and crumbled with each of their footfalls. “But I will confess the thought of returning to society is as daunting as it was when I first arrived home.”

“There are some things time cannot heal, that it is not meant to heal.” Daniel had no idea what made him speak those exact words, but when Lettie moved closer, burrowing into his side, Daniel suspected he’d said what she needed to hear. “We can only live one day at a time and hope the things that can never heal at least diminish in size.”

Lettie sighed, and Daniel felt the tension drain from her as they made their way back through the gate and to the carriage.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” she said, as he assisted her into the open-air conveyance.

“You are welcome to return whenever the need arises.” Daniel took his seat and called to the coachman to continue on to Bond Street, though every inch of him screamed to remain in their small, secluded grove, where the harsh realities of life could not reach them.

CHAPTER 11

They arrived at the modiste with only moments to spare as she and Daniel bustled through the door. She was certain Daniel hadn’t realized the impact his words had had on her—not all things are meant to heal. Maybe the wounds of her past would never heal. If they didn’t, then it was up to her to patch and bandage them well enough that the pain and visible wounds were not obvious to those surrounding her.

For not the first time, she experienced the security of having Daniel close. The feeling that as long as he was near, nothing bad could happen to her.

It had been a long week since her arrival in London, and she hadn’t seen Daniel after that first day. He was giving her ample time, and while she appreciated that greatly, her sense of loneliness was all-consuming as the nightmares no longer waited for nightfall to attack.

Curse her, but she’d missed Daniel since she’d wed Gregory.

She had no right to long for him, no right to claim his time, and certainly no right to ask anything of a man she’d betrayed. Though she’d done it in the name of love, mattered naught.

“Hold still, my lady,” the modiste said. “Only a few more pins, and I shall be done.”

She shook her head to clear her wayward thoughts and stood perfectly still as the modiste slipped another pin into the pre-fashioned gown she was fitting to her exact size. The three-part mirror caught Lettie from several angles, and her skin appeared pale next to the ebony muslin. She’d selected this pattern as opposed to the calico material for the soft way it hugged her and draped gracefully to the floor where one of the modiste’s helpers pinned the hem.

The extravagant bolt of fabric could be traded for enough materials to outfit an entire foot battalion. Lettie pushed down her contrition, knowing if she did not select at least a half-dozen gowns, her mother would likely purchase dresses for her made from far more lavish silks and satins.

“I will return in a moment,” the modiste called, clucking for her helper to follow as she departed the back fitting room, exiting through the curtain that separated this room from the front of the shop.

Lettie glanced back at her reflection—her skin had lost its sun-kissed coloring, her hair was growing back but at odd angles, and her face was far thinner, almost gaunt, from many hours of labor and not enough rest and sustenance. She was a mere shell of the woman she’d been during her debut Season. A chuckle from the front room drew Lettie’s attention.

When the modiste had departed the room, she’d pushed the curtain aside, affording Lettie a glimpse of the front of the store. Daniel sat where she’d left him almost two hours prior. His continued presence wasn’t necessary, and Lettie had begged him to depart and return for her later; however, he’d insisted on remaining in case she needed anything.

He’d done far more than was necessary. It was as if he were determined to continue their association and pick up where they’d left off. Well, not exactly where they’d left off since that would mean her breaking off their betrothal, and him so deep in his cups he hadn’t a care he still had another woman’s perfume clinging to him.

No, this was a different man than the one she’d left six years before.

This Daniel hadn’t so much as accepted a goblet of dinner wine on her first night back. This Daniel listened to her when she spoke. This Daniel thought of what would put her at ease. This Daniel was charming, sympathetic, and attentive.

All things he hadn’t been six years ago.

Another change, possibly the most apparent, was his hooded demeanor. He’d suspected she suffered from harrowing nightmares, but how could a gentleman of his caliber know of such things? He’d never been a soldier, never favored manual labor or dock work, and certainly, the hardships of the lower class were unknown to him; yet, still, they’d found a kinship and understanding Lettie had thought disappeared long ago, never to be rediscovered.

She struggled to process his kindness. She’d deserted him shortly before they were to wed. She’d brought shame and disgrace on both his family and hers, and then she’d fled England, leaving him to deal with the mess she’d created.

Even after all that, he sat patiently in the modiste’s store front and waited for her to finish. He’d offered to escort her to keep the duchess from selecting patterns and fabrics not to Lettie’s tastes.

Daniel owed her nothing.

Lettie owed him everything.

He glanced up from the newspaper he was reading and met her stare. He gave her a warm grin, making him all the more handsome as he pushed a lock of black hair from his eyes. For a moment, he appeared the young lord she remembered, unburdened by life and circumstances…and her heart fluttered. Once upon a time, Lettie had looked forward to wedding Daniel, starting a family, and spending their lives together.