Page 27 of One Mistake

One Decade Ago

So, today was the day all my dreams of becoming a lawyer, of joining the family law firm—Kennedy, Kennedy, and Grimes, my parents held the first two-thirds of the partnership—circled the sewer drain. The day I lost my last best friend. The day the girl I loved left me. Nothing I could do to stop it.

Especially not hungover. Which I was. Hungover. And stupid. Stupid as fuck for trusting Finn. For believing he would’ve ever stuck by me, been my friend. They were all against me now. And it was him. He was the bastard that uploaded the videos. Had to be. No one else was in the frat house. Only Finn.

And today, since he couldn’t have acted without me—no videos, no upload—I was going, and even I couldn’t believe how strongly I felt about it, to admit not only my part but take credit or blame, as it were, for his. It would be one noble act in a long life of ignoble.

I was focused. Determined. Ready to take whatever happened so I could earn the redemption I needed.

That was what I told myself. More it was so the extent of what I’d done didn’t cast light on anyone else. I couldn’t take the chance Finn figured out what actually happened. The destruction would be total. Life-shattering.

And as noble as I wanted to be, I hated being in this position. My guts ached. My head throbbed. Truth was, having to do this pissed me off.

Anger simmered in that little area of dead space just under the skin, tingled through every nerve I had, and put a shitty taste in my mouth.

I left my car a couple blocks away because the street was closed off. The protests had taken over. And none of them supported me. Why would they? My side wasn’t out there. I couldn’t even tell my side.

I circled along the back of Chancellor Hall. “Hey.”

Oh, God. Of all the people I could face, Reese Winthrop wasn’t one I wanted to. Not now when I had to stay focused and be strong enough to do the right thing.

She laid her hand on my arm, and I stopped walking. I wanted to kiss her. To thank her for coming because it made me feel better. Made me want to tell everything so she didn’t think any worse of me. But those were dangerous thoughts. Dangerous for me and for her. Because I couldn’t let her think good things about me. She would try to change everyone’s mind, try to make me look better, feel better, try to prove it wasn’t me. I couldn’t afford that.

“What?” My tone was hard, brutal.

“I tried to call you.” Our dynamic already changed. Her voice thinned, weakened. She was ready for me to hurt her. Bracing herself for it.

And that made me a jackass. “What do you want, Reese?”

Her eyes went wide, like she couldn’t believe I was acting this way. But if that was honestly the case, then she didn’t know me at all. This was who I was. Who I was born to be. “I just wanted to be here with you. For you.”

Every word tore me down a little more. Removed another option. “I don’t want you here.”

Hurt flickered in her eyes, but she lifted her chin. “Ryder, are you pissed off at me?”

Oh, God. I steeled myself against the urge to comfort her. Being with me, from this day forward, would destroy her. I’d taken enough from her.

“What do you want from me, Reese? I’m trying to break it to you gently. Do you want me to just say it?” Oh fuck. I just had to get through this. So I could get to the next shitty part of my day. She didn’t speak. “Did you really think you were someone I could be with?” I shook my head and swallowed a mouthful of bile. “For the love of God, Reese. I’ve dated Sigmas and Deltas. Did you honestly think you could compete? That you were more than a very grateful fuck?” Her eyes clouded and her lower lip quivered. “You’re too plain. Too ordinary. Hell, if you didn’t give such a fabulous blow job, I wouldn’t have wasted near the time I did.”

“Ryder.”

My guts twisted. “So, unless you wanna get on your knees right now, I don’t think we really have anything else to talk about.” I nodded toward the building ahead on my left. “I have a meeting to get to so I need you to get the hell out of my way.”

She stayed long enough for me to see the tears in her eyes, for me to know what I’d done, then she turned, and ran. And I couldn’t blame her.

Worst moment of my life. Hands down.

I walked a few feet before it occurred to me I couldn’t chase her. I couldn’t do what I had to do with her by my side. I wouldn’t because she would push me to do the right thing. Not this.

It was better for her to hate me. Probably better for me to hate myself.

“Dude, that was brutal.”

“Shut the fuck up, Finn.” I knew what it was. “What are you doing here? You aren’t scheduled to testify until later.”

“I’m going in now. I’m going to tell them…” I couldn’t let him finish. The only way this worked was if I accepted all the blame. Not had it thrown at me. And I couldn’t take the chance with Finn. He’d stopped talking to me, thanks to our fucking lawyers who said we couldn’t afford to be seen together. And my lawyer had told me I needed to find a way to blame the others or pick one to blame, so I had to assume his was giving him the same advice.

But the only way my friends walked away free was if I made sure this shit didn’t touch them. I swung, hard. And when my fist hit his jaw…a bit of anguish drained from my gut. But it all came swinging back when he didn’t hit back. A final blow took him down and this time, he didn’t get back up, didn’t even move. I checked to make sure he was okay and breathing.