Page 38 of One Vow

“Went in and took your deal. He admitted everything, but he…” She pursed her lips and stood to pace in front of me. Kicking the blankets and pillows to the corner of the room as she made her first pass. “He took you down with him. Saved Keaton, gave Jameson an out, but he made sure that when he threw you under it, the bus didn’t just run over you, it dragged you a couple thousand feet.”

I would’ve sold my soul to have started the day over again. To not have her look at me like I’d disappointed her. For just one more minute of happiness with her.

“What did your dad say?” He was the guy who’d promised to help me. The one whose eyes I would have to look into for as long as his daughter loved me.

“Before or after Beth Cooper came busting into the meeting, and they let her play the entirety of one video, then read out the names of all the other girls?” She paced a couple more laps from one side of the room to the other before she continued. I would have spoken, but my guts were twisted, my head aching, and I wanted to die.

“You want to know which video she played? Or how many times you looked right at the camera? I never noticed but she counted.” She stared hard, and my shoulders sagged under the weight of it. “Do you want to know?”

“I never lied about knowing the cameras were there.” Weak. Lame. Not much of a defense. But it was all I had.

She nodded. “I guess you didn’t.”

She sat beside me. “And I didn’t really care about it until I got out of class early and decided to go to the hearing to support you. I thought what I was asking you to do would be easier if you saw me there.”

She shook her head but took my hand in hers. “I knew how hard it would be to blame Ryder. I saw you guys for the last four years. Best friends. And Keaton and Jameson…I knew it would be hard and I just wanted to be there for you.”

Her voice wavered and tears pooled in her eyes. “Instead,” she sucked in a long breath and ran her hand through her hair, “I had to watch my husband fuck her.”

Beth showed her own video. This was a woman who knew shock value and how to use it.

“Shit.” I looked down because meeting her eyes was too much to bear. “I didn’t know he would…”

“Bullshit. You said yourself you knew the cameras were there. And if you didn’t know he would put them online, you at least knew he could.” She pulled her hand away from mine and folded it with the other in her lap. “God, Finn. You want to know the worst part?”

I did not. “Yeah.”

“The worst part is, I had this great night planned for us. I set everything up this morning I was so excited. And…part of me still wants to fix the pillows and turn on the TV, lay beside you. I thought even though we would be celebrating for you, you might be sad over your friends.”

She looked at me then closed her eyes as if it was too much to look at me. Too hard. “And I’m so pathetic, I want you to comfort me now.”

And I pulled her against me. We could work through this. I had that kind of faith in us. What I didn’t have was much time left to prove it. I pulled her against me and smoothed her hair.

“For tonight, can we just…?” She nodded to the blanket and pillows. “We can deal with every other thing tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” I wanted to change out of my hospital gown first, but I didn’t want to leave her.

I didn’t know how much time I had left with her, but if this was going to be my last night, I wanted to remember every second. Every smile. Every flutter of her lashes. Every kiss I could sneak in.

12

Felicity

The admission that I might not have loved him as much as he thought I did back then was almost as hard as seeing his suitcase by my front door. As knowing the roads were icy. Or that the night was cold. Or that he was leaving again and this time because I told him to go.

So, as he stood slipping his arms into his coat then twisting his scarf around his neck, I watched. Too scared to speak, to ask for what I wanted. Stunted by his rejection. But this was my last chance. And if I let him slip away…

“Finn.” He turned, and I waited one more second. Too long. Then marched to where he stood, shoved him against the wall, and kissed him like it was the last time I would ever get to. I tangled my fingers in his hair and held him until he kissed me back and wound his arms around me, opened his mouth, turned us so I was the one pinned between him and the wall. When he pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine, I closed my eyes and caressed his scalp with my fingertips. “Stay this time. Tell her you can’t marry her because you want to be with me.”

What? “Please.”

Seriously. What was I doing?

“Lis…” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I have to go.”

He turned to the door, picked up his suitcase, and walked out.

My heart ached. How had I done this with this guy? Again.