Page 33 of One Vow

When we walked inside our house, he led me to the bedroom, then unfastened my coat and slipped it down my arms, unraveled my scarf and tossed it on the chair, and pulled off my gloves to fling them so they landed with the scarf. All the while side-stepping my grabby hands. “Come on. The doctor said to rest.”

“Finn…” I growled his name and reached for him again. “Fine.”

Not fine at all, but salvageable at least. “Will you rest with me, at least?”

He nodded and once we were settled with my head on his chest and his arms around me, I pressed a kiss against his throat. If I looked up, I might have seen the sadness in his eyes, maybe even tears, but I didn’t and fell asleep instead. By the time I woke, the sun had set, and my room was dark. Finn’s side of the bed was cold.

I stood, wishing for an aspirin, then walked out into the living room. From our house, we could see the school’s back side. The peak of the steepled ministry building. The dome over the basketball gymnasium. And he stood at the window staring, shoulders shaking. I touched his back, and he sucked in a shallow breath.

“You okay?”

“Coach said I’m getting kicked out of school.” He didn’t turn to look at me, but his voice was thick, soft, broken. “I’m never going to be a doctor.”

His shoulders curled in. “I’m everything all those people said about me, all those foster families that said I would never be anything. They were right.”

Oh, fuck. My heart broke for him.

“I’ll talk to my dad.” I wrapped myself around him, scooted until I could see his face. “Finn.”

He looked down, and his tears shattered me. “Just leave me alone, Lis. Please. I don’t want to talk about this with you.”

“Okay.” Not okay, I wanted to help him, hold him, tell him it didn’t matter at least, but in the absence of permission, maybe I really could talk to Dad. I unwrapped my arms, bundled up for the cold, and walked straight to the street lined with expensive houses that all had maids. When I got to the big one at the end, I stomped up the porch steps and banged on the door. I could hear his TV inside. He was probably reading a newspaper or something in the back of the house so I banged again, and after a few minutes, he opened the door so I could breeze past him.

I was four steps inside when he shut the door and turned to me. “Felicity. You okay?”

I scoffed. “Funny you should ask. Because I’m a hundred percent not okay. You kicked Finn out of school?”

He shook his head.

“It wasn’t just me, sweetheart. The board voted. All the boys involved were expelled.” Funny, but a man who valued integrity and honor couldn’t look me in the eyes. “He can appeal.”

“Did you fight for him at all? Did you stand up and tell them he didn’t know?” I’d had that talk/argument with him already.

Dad glared at me and wrinkled his forehead as if he couldn’t believe I was asking. “I’m not going to fight for the man who took your reputation and flushed it down the drain.”

“Oh, Dad.” The disappointment was thick in my stomach and churning away.

“His own fraternity brothers said he knew the cameras were there for months.” And Dad matched my feeling with his own tone. “And he took you there anyway, Flis. He knew. Beth Cooper, Susie Ranes, Alicia Bates. They all asked for him to be kicked out.”

“Beth Cooper?” The same woman who was all over TV, chasing down interviews with victims, had gone to the chancellors against Finn?

“She deserves the same justice you do.” I wanted to hit something, to shake my dad and make him understand how important this was to me. “The final vote’s next week.”

He took my hands in his.

“Please, honey, leave him now. Don’t wait for the fallout of this. That fucking video has been on TV all week.” He lowered his head. “I had to watch my little girl getting… screwed by this guy on fucking CNN. So no, Felicity, I did not defend him. He’s lucky I don’t go over there and beat his ass.”

My dad never said the F-word. In all my 21 years of life, I’d never heard it pass his lips until now. And he’d never had a violent moment. Of course, neither had I ever disappointed him in such a big way. Shit.

I was an English major. Not prelaw. I didn’t have an argument in me since I couldn’t deny anything he said. “He’s my husband, Dad.”

It was all I had as a defense.

“Yeah. I know.” But Dad was one of the great thinkers of my time, one of the men who asked questions designed to make a person think. It was his skill. “Your loyalty is admirable, and I hope he’s done some other thing to show you he deserves it, but at some point, you’re going to have to ask yourself if it was all worth it. And I hope it is. I hope he’s true and honest and honorable, and he treats you the way you deserve with all the love in the world. But if it turns out the answer isn’t yes and all this wasn’t worth it, come find me. We’ll pick up the pieces. But I can’t watch you be with him.”

He shrugged one shoulder and a tear slipped down his cheek.

“What does that mean? You’re dumping me?” Dads didn’t get to dump their daughters. But mine lifted his head, sniffed once and adjusted his glasses, then did it.