Page 33 of One Bet

The weight on my heart didn’t lift but it lightened by a fraction. The smallest fraction possible. But if he was staying, there was a chance we could…be…more.

“I could. But then today, my agent called, and I’ve been released from the roster.” He shook his head and shrugged as if he didn’t care, but his gaze flickered and a flash of hurt passed through before he tried to smile and I laid a hand on his chest, hoping I could ease the pain from the outside.

It took a second for me to decipher all of his words. I didn’t understand his use of ‘but.’ “That’s great. So, you can take the job.”

He nodded. “Except, the network also offered me a job in the booth, commentary, analysis.”

He shook his head. “Pays a lot. But it’s in Los Angeles.”

“Oh. That’s almost three thousand miles.” All my dreams of us being together as more faded and he sighed. My stomach sank to my toes. “And it’s the job you want?”

He didn’t look at me.

“More than you want to stay here?” I didn’t add the with me part. It would have killed me to hear the answer if it didn’t go the way I wanted it to. “It’s okay. It’s your career, I get it.”

I sat up and picked at a few pieces of imaginary lint on the blanket before I spoke again. “It’s only football season, right?” That was me. Finding the bright side. Miss Glass Half Full.

“It’s a little more than that, but…” he sighed. “I don’t want to walk away from a future with you for a job I don’t care about. But I don’t want to stay if there’s no future for us…if these last two days are all you want.”

I wanted more, I wanted everything with him, and it was ridiculous considering our decade-plus of history consisted mostly of mistrust and silence.

“You shouldn’t base your decision on me.” I couldn’t look at him even as he rested his chin on my shoulder and kissed the side of my throat. “I don’t want you to…”

He curled his finger under my chin and urged me to face him. “Avery, I want you to be part of this, of my life, my decisions, my future. I don’t want to lose you now. Not for a job or for anything else.”

His voice was low and husky, sweet and deep.

And for one second, I basked in the glow of that happiness, that he wanted me to help him decide what to do, but then the pressure it put on our relationship crushed me. What if he stayed for me and we didn’t work out? The chemistry was good between us, but if it faded, there was no other foundation for us to fall back on.

“So, what do you think? If you were picking right now.”

With his finger rubbing a trail from my shoulder to wrist and his lips pressing soft slow kisses on my neck and jaw, I wanted him to stay, but I couldn’t tell him that. It wasn’t fair. And when my silence stretched longer than he apparently appreciated, he breathed out a scoff.

“Okay then.” He pushed the blanket back. “I really do have to get going, I need to talk to the coach and call my agent.”

He yanked his jeans up. “Then I have a thing at the Alpha house. So, I’ll…” He cleared his throat. “I’ll try to come by later, but if I don’t make it, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He grabbed but didn’t put on his shirt or shoes before he raced out the door like his ass was on fire and there was a water trough in his front seat.

Good Lord. I really needed to work on my after-sex game because this wasn’t the first time he’d shot out the door after.

One Decade Ago

Holy shit. Someone should’ve warned me about the emotional fallout of having sex for the first time. The pain had been intense for a couple seconds, but that wasn’t why I was crying into his chest while he pretended to want to hold me. I couldn’t be sure where the tears came from, actually, I only knew I couldn’t turn them off.

And Keaton’s wide eyes and half-parted lips every time I looked up at him said he didn’t know what to do about it either.

“Are you okay?” He patted my shoulder, and I sobbed harder.

I just loved him so much. I didn’t ever want to be without him again.

No. As soon as I had the thought, I kicked it away. “I don’t love you.”

“Okay. Good.” He nodded, and my heart broke a little more.

Good? What the fuck did good mean? He was actually happy I didn’t love him? What the fuck?

I couldn’t stay here. “I have to go.”