Page 68 of Not Mine To Love

Words of denial got stuck in my throat. “Did he tell you that?”

She nodded. “And you’re in love with him. So why are you pushing him away?”

I didn’t have an answer. Why was I pushing him away? There was nothing stopping us from being together. Nothing at all. I was the only thing standing between us. Well, not me, just my stupidity. I could see that now.

“When Sam died, Julius was there for me. When I felt my life had no meaning, Julius stepped in and showed me how much more I had to live for. When I couldn’t stand up to my mother and created this whole crazy, elaborate, fake engagement, Julius still stood by me instead of telling me that I was crazy… which I was. That’s the kind of man Julius is, Becca. He’ll do anything for the people he loves. Now I don’t know what’s stopping you from building a life with him, but don’t make the same mistake I did.”

I looked at her sharply. What was she talking about? The same mistake… what did that mean?

“Sam died without ever knowing how I felt about him. I loved him so much. And I was his roommate! I had plenty of chances to tell him!” she said with a regretful laugh. “I could have told him any day. At any time. I didn’t have the courage, and now he’s gone. And I don’t know if I’ll love anyone again like I loved him. And what I’m trying to say is… I don’t know. Just don’t take Julius’ love for granted. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. If you love him, be with him. Don’t let whatever hang-ups you have from your past stop you from being with the person you love.”

She wiped away a tear. “Okay, speech over,” she said with a shaky laugh.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“And I have nothing else to say, soooo…”

We both laughed this time.

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it before letting go. “Thanks for talking sense into me.”

She smiled. “Anytime.” She then looked over at Meredith who was singing softly to herself. “And if your stepdaughter ever needs any help with her vocals, give me a call. I mean, I am the lead singer of a band.”

“You’re singing again?” I asked in surprise.

Now it was Ana’s turn to look surprised. “So I guess Julius mentioned the band?”

“Yeah, but I thought you didn’t sing anymore.”

“I’m done being a shadow of my former self. That’s not the life Sam would have wanted for me. I think we can both agree on that.”

I nodded, hearing the wisdom in her words.

“Now, call Julius,” she commanded, sounding very much like her mother. “He’s driving me crazy. He keeps sending me these pitiful pics of himself at home, looking depressed.”

She showed me one, and we both winced.

“He looks terrible,” we said at the same time.

“Go cheer him up. I think he would like that kind of surprise.”

She gave me one last hug then she walked away from us.

“What did she want?” Meredith asked.

“To talk some sense into me.”

Meredith eyed me. “Well, did it work?”

I smiled. “I think it did.”

After I dropped Meredith off, I went home, showered, and put on some decent clothes. I then headed to Julius’ home. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he didn’t answer the door? What if—

“What are you doing here?” Julius asked as he opened the door. His hair was sticking up everywhere and his voice sounded husky as if he had just woken up. It was three o’clock in the afternoon. What was he doing sleeping? He had a tortilla chip stuck to his stomach. I flicked it off.

“Hey,” he said, looking upset, “I was eating that.”

I shook my head. Had I really had this effect on the poor guy?