Page 57 of Not Mine To Love

Claire shook her head. “Get out of my house. Both of you. Get out of here.” She then growled at me, “And I expect all my money back from you.”

“Not a chance in hell,” Julius said, sticking up for me.

“Try me,” she said.

I knew Julius wasn’t done fighting, but I was as I pulled at his sleeve. “Let’s go. It’s not worth it, Julius.”

He didn’t break eye contact with Claire. “You just lost your daughter, Claire. Instead of trying to figure out how to hurt us, why don’t you figure out how to be a mother?”

And with that, he took my hand and we left the house. There was no sign of Ana outside. She was gone.

I was still reeling from being used as bait. I felt dirty. What had she seen when she looked at me? Someone without morals? How could she have been so sure that he would go for me and that I would let him? How could she had known me so much better than I knew myself?

“What’s wrong?” Julius asked, touching my chin and bringing my face up to meet his eyes.

“I just… I fell straight into her trap. It’s like she knew I wouldn’t say no to a married man.”

“It wasn’t real, Becca. I never planned to marry Ana.”

“I know that,” I said, stepping away from his touch. Suddenly, it made me feel dirty. “But I didn’t know that at the beginning when we kissed. I was attracted to you right from the start, and I shouldn’t have let those feelings develop.”

“Becca.”

“No, she was ultimately right about me… about us.”

“No she wasn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong, Becca.”

“Didn’t I? I went to your place that night and if we hadn’t stopped, I would have willingly slept with you when I knew you were supposed to marry another. What does that say about me, Julius? What kind of person does that make me?”

“Becca, stop, nothing happened that night.”

“But I would have let something happen. And that’s the point.” I turned away from him and walked over to my car. He grabbed my hand, trying to stop me.

“Becca, let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I just need to be alone right now. I’ll call you.”

He let go of my hand and didn’t say another word, but I could tell there was more he wanted to say, more he wanted to do, but I wasn’t ready to listen.

“Promise me you’ll call.”

“I promise,” was all I said, not looking at him as I climbed behind the wheel and started the car.

I drove away, not bothering to look behind me. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to think of how I was hurting him. I felt that I was actually running away. Running away from being loved…

I needed to get far away from him. I needed to get far away from everything. The whole situation made me feel uncertain… dirty even.

I wandered briefly if even now my boss was following me. Feeling emboldened, I reached for my phone and called her.

“Becca? What’s up? You need another assignment?”

“I know what you did, Leona.”

“What?”

“Don’t try to deny it. Claire told us that you’ve been following Julius and me around.”

“Claire needs to learn to keep her mouth shut, but a job’s a job, right?”