Page 50 of Not Mine To Love

“I can’t see you, Julius. You’re getting married.”

“I told you—"

“Stop. Just stop talking. I’m not... I won’t… I can’t be that person. This is all wrong.”

“Becca—

“No. You have to leave.”

“Is that what you really want?”

No. Definitely not. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, and touch me. I wanted to know him better. Where did he grow up? Who were his friends? I wanted to know everything and more about this man. But this man was already taken, first and foremost.

And so I lied, “Yes. That’s what I really want.”

I immediately felt terrible.

“You’re a bad liar,” he said, standing up. “But you win… at least for now.”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I just looked down at my toes.

“Leaving already,” my dad asked Julius, suddenly appearing from out of nowhere.

“Yeah, I have a meeting on the other side of town.”

“That’s too bad.” Dad held out his hand, and Julius shook it.

“See you later, Becca.”

“Bye,” I said softly as he left.

When he closed the door behind him, my dad locked it and then turned to me and said, “He’s a keeper, that one.”

“Dad, you don’t even know him.”

“I know a winner when I meet one. You guys would be great together.”

“He’s—" I was about to say getting married, but I didn’t want Dad’s opinion of me to be darkened by that truth. I was his saintly Becca. And I wanted to keep it that way.

“He’s what?”

“He’s my client. And I don’t get involved with clients…”

“Since when did you start having client—"

“Recently,” I lied, feeling a teeny bit guilty. “I do more than just photograph cheaters, Dad.”

“Good for you,” he said, meaning it. He always wanted so much for me, and I felt like an absolute disappointment. I’d done nothing with my degree. I had a dead end job. There was so much I needed to work on. And getting involved with an almost married man wasn’t going to help.

“Since you’re awake, want to play a game of cards?”

“Sure,” I said, taking a seat at the table.

When the day eventually turned to night, I told my dad that I needed to get some work done. That wasn’t exactly true. I just needed space and some time to think.

My life felt like it was going nowhere fast. And I had no clue how to change it.

The next day I met up with Meredith, Piper, and Dana for lunch. It was a burrito bar and Dana kept talking about all the calories, but was the one who got the most stuff.