Page 39 of Dancing With Guilt

Emily would probably be hurt that Roxie had never told her about the daughter who was hidden away, but she’d understand. Kitty and River, as well as Keily, would be understanding too, but Roxie hated the idea of going over and over the explanations one at a time. Which meant she should introduce them all to this new fact about herself at the same time. But a lunch full of people wasn’t what she really wanted at the moment.

By the time she’d dried her hair and put on a pair of black leggings with a gray sweater that wasn’t too heavy for the weather, she had talked herself out of lunch with anyone. Going back downstairs, her thoughts were on what to do instead, but the answer was there.

Lincoln was sitting at the kitchen table, dressed in his usual expensive suit, looking as if he’d just stepped out of a board meeting.

“Hello Roxie,” he said without inflection or turning his head. “We need to talk.”

“I suppose we do,” she answered, going to the fridge to get some juice before she joined him at the table. “What do you want to talk about?”

“How things are going to go over the next couple of weeks,” he told her as she sat down, his eyes on her at last.

She noted there was no emotion in his gaze and wondered if there was nothing left of that man she once thought might love her. That was a stupid thought, she decided and looked away from him. Looking into those emotionless eyes hurt too much.

For a brief moment yesterday, there’d been hope that he might come around, that he might see that she hadn’t hidden Lily from him to hurt him. Then he’d caught her hugging Nick, and everything had turned dark again. So why was he here now? She knew what was going to happen over the next few weeks, he was going to be a dick and she’d do whatever it took to make sure she had some contact with her daughter once this was all over.

“What are you doing here, Lincoln?” She asked when the silence stretched out, when she couldn’t stand it anymore. “We both know you’re taking Lily from me, and we both know that we’re done. What else is there to talk about?”

“I need you to sign the papers that will add me to her birth certificate and sign over custody to me. I had my lawyer get everything together over the weekend and had it brought down to me this morning.” He slid over the papers that were in front of him on the table, along with a pen. “That’s all.”

“Alright,” Roxie murmured, her eyes on the papers. Her real name was on those papers, the birth name she’d avoided for so long now. She wasn’t even sure if her signature would be the same now, since it had been years since she’d actually signed it. “Anything else?”

“No,” Lincoln answered simply and sighed quietly.

Roxie took her time, looking over each piece of paper, signing the lines by the little stickers that said, ‘sign here’. The papers for Lily’s birth certificate were simple enough, but the papers signing over Lily’s custody, already signed by Aunt Katie, nearly made her get up and walk away. There was no guarantee of visitation, no mention of how she could change things later, no hope that she would have any rights at all to her own daughter.

She looked up at Lincoln, her eyes dry because she’d already shed countless tears. “You’re really going to take her away from me?”

“Yes, Roxie, I am.” He didn’t look at her, he looked out at the ocean and adjusted his tie. “She’ll be safer. We’ve already agreed that.”

“Yes, we did.” Roxie put the pen down, a memory suddenly coming back into her brain. “These guys you have tailing me, are they the same guys that June mentioned might have some kind of information I’d want?”

“I don’t have any men tailing you, Roxie and what did June tell you?” A knot formed over the right side of his jaw, tension not allowing the knot to go away. He looked at her finally.

Guilt.

She saw guilt in his eyes.

But why?

“She said there were things you knew that you should have told me. That you had secrets of your own. I’d forgotten about it until now because of everything that’s happened. What did she mean, Lincoln?” Roxie watched him, noting his expression.

“Your parents didn’t kill themselves,” he said after a long moment where she wondered if he’d get up and leave. “I know who killed them.”

Roxie stared at him, unable to do anything but gape. “You knew they didn’t kill themselves? Or that my father didn’t kill my mother and then himself as the news people reported? You knew this and you didn’t tell me? And holy fucking moly, you know who killed them?”

Roxie threw the papers at him and walked away from the table. “All this time you knew how I wanted to prove they were murdered, you knew how much this all hurt me, how it changed me, forced me to live in fear for my life, and Lily’s, and you said fuck all to me?”

It didn’t matter if she was screaming at him in his own house, or if he got angry and told her to leave, or better yet walked away, because whatever she might have hidden from him, she’d done out of fear for Lily. This? This was some whole next-level bullshit.

“I wanted to find the proof that would convict them, Roxie, before I told you,” he started but she held a hand up, stopping the flow of words.

“You’re no better than me, Lincoln. Only I’m not trying to hide your daughter from you anymore or take her from you. You knew a secret that could change my life, set me free, but you chose not to tell me. And on top of that, you want to take my daughter from me? No, no this is not happening.”

She walked out of the kitchen, but he stopped her, grabbing her arm to turn her around. “I did it to keep you safe.”

“You mean like I did to keep Lily safe, only you shattered my heart and then set it on fire with your demands for custody. Do you mean like that, Lincoln? Is it because you hate me or because I hate you? Because I can tell you this for nothing, I will never, ever forgive you for this. Any of it.”

“Roxie,” he started but she shook her head.