Page 35 of Dancing With Guilt

“I don’t think there’s much chance of that, Wendy. He’s already got a temporary place. I’ll stay at the house for a few weeks, let Lily get used to it all, and then go back to my place above Lemon Fresh. He’s interested in getting to know his daughter, not rekindling a relationship with her mother. Romance is not in the cards.”

“I really hate that for you. I know how much you care about him.” Wendy looked away, her own eyes a little shiny now. “When he was missing, it became obvious just how much you feel about him. Knowing he’s broken it off with you is so sad.”

“I can’t force him to forgive me. I can’t make him love me. I thought, for a while, that maybe he did, you know? That I was different and maybe there was something more in store for us, but it’s over and I have to face facts. I’m nothing more than Lily’s mother and that’s all.”

“I’m so sorry, Roxie,” Wendy said with evident regret in her voice. “I was really hoping it would work out for you two.”

“That’s life, right?” Roxie swiped at her face with another tissue and took a deep breath. “I’m a big girl, I’ll get back to my business, see my daughter more often, and somehow, I’ll get over all of this. I don’t know how, but I will.”

“You will. I’ll be there for you,” Wendy said, and Roxie knew she would be.

“Well, let’s get out of here before Nick comes back and tries to convince me to stay. He’s not happy I’m going back to Lincoln’s.” Roxie got up, swiped a hand over her bun to make sure her hair was in place, and breathed deeply again. “That was a conversation I don’t want to have to repeat.”

“I bet,” Wendy answered as she got up and pushed down the dark blue silk dress she wore, smoothing the lines until the dress came down to her knees in a pretty flare. “Was he a dick to you?”

“Not to me, but he was angry. He mentioned Lincoln’s balls too, in fact.” Roxie grinned and slipped on a pair of loafers. She was dressed in blue jeans and a black slouchy blouse for comfort, not to impress. “I thought I’d have to call the police to go over to Lincoln’s and protect him.”

“Oh no, that would have been bad.” Wendy winced but grabbed up plastic bags in one hand and a suitcase handle in the other. “Got the keys?”

“Yes, I’m leaving them in the mailbox. He has the key for that.” Roxie grabbed her purse, two suitcases, and looked around one last time to make sure she hadn’t left anything. “At least I wasn’t here long enough to get settled in.”

“I’d miss that view,” Wendy said as she opened the door. “But that’s about all.”

“I’ll have all the ocean I can stand at Lincoln’s place. For a little while at least,” Roxie answered, closing the door and making sure it was locked behind her. “Let’s go.”

She dropped the keys off while Wendy loaded Roxie’s car. When Roxie came back Wendy gave her another hug and looked at her carefully before she let go. “You know I’m only a text message away, right?”

“I do, and the same goes for you,” Roxie replied, meaning it. “You’ve done so much for me already, I feel bad asking you for more help.”

“Anytime you need me, Roxie, ask. I’m more than happy to help.” Wendy dug around in her own handbag and pulled out her keys. “I’d better get back to the shop. Mom and Dad will be wondering where I am.”

“Thanks, Wendy, for everything.” Roxie waved as Wendy started to walk backwards towards her car.

Wendy waved and turned around, getting into her car without another word.

Roxie watched her friend pull out of the parking garage with sad eyes and a broken heart. She’d been able to keep the tears at bay for a little while and it was nice that Wendy was there for her when the walls cracked a little. But now, standing there alone, wondering what the hell fate had in store for her next, Roxie almost got in the car to drive far away and leave it all behind.

Lily had her father now, Lincoln had his daughter, and he’d keep her safe. Meanwhile, the only thing that would make Roxie smile from now on was her daughter. She had to live in a house filled with memories of him, had to smell his scent in the air, and look at him without being able to touch him or love him.

Roxie saw a future as a shell ahead of her and that nearly made her run away. But she couldn’t leave her daughter. Not ever again.

17

Roxie

Before she could even start her car, there was a tap at her window that made Roxie jump and scream. She was furious when she saw it was Nick, standing there with a confused smile on his face.

“What made you jump like that, it’s just me?” He asked, opening her car door. “I thought you might need a hand loading your stuff up, then saw you sitting here in the car. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she said with a pissed-off snip in her voice. “You just scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Holy fuck.”

With her right hand over her chest, Roxie tried to calm down her racing heart.

“Sorry, after all you’ve been through, I should have known better than to do that.” Nick stood up to let Roxie get out of the small SUV and opened his arms, expecting a hug.

Roxie felt bad about being so angry with him and hugged him back. “It’s alright, you didn’t mean anything by it.”

It felt nice to be in his arms, he was her friend after all, and he smelled good. Roxie relaxed as she stood there, wishing she could give him the relationship he wanted. But Lincoln’s face floated into her mind, and she pulled away.