Page 13 of Dancing With Guilt

“What is it?” She asked and stepped closer to look at the evidence he’d collected while he’d been away. “Lincoln?” Her voice shook and he saw the way her face blanched when she caught sight of the pictures. Her legs must have given out because she plopped down to the couch with round eyes and fear written across her face. “What have you done?”

“I found out your secret. Only, it wasn’t much of a secret since Nathan knew about it. He offered me the information for a sum you truly wouldn’t believe. I’d have gladly paid it, if he hadn’t been on his way to sit in the county jail until his court date.” Lincoln stood over her, unwilling to sit down beside her. Being near to her could be dangerous. “The thing I find incredibly unbelievable is not that you left photos around where that idiot could find them, where he could put two and two together. No, it’s not that at all. What I find truly unbelievable is that you didn’t tell me.”

“Lincoln, I was going to tell you, but the time just never seemed to be right.” Tears formed in her eyes as she picked up one of the pictures, a very old one that she was in. “I wanted to tell you the minute you got back, but you told me it could wait. I tried to tell you.”

“But not back then, not when it mattered, right?” He spit the words at her, his anger getting the better of him now. “Not when I could have helped you.”

“I was only a kid, Lincoln!” She stood up now, the tears gone, replaced by her own anger. “A scared kid, still a teenager, and homeless on top of that. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Ruin your life too?”

“No, you were supposed to tell me so I could figure out how to not ruin either of our lives. Maybe not run away in the first place so I could take care of you the way you should have been taken care of. Instead, you ran off and left me, to search for you for ten years. I can’t fucking believe this.” He strode over to the wall, his fist smashing against it as he totally lost it for a second. The pain refocused his brain and he turned back to look at her. “She’s mine, right? There’s no father listed on the birth certificate, but I assume she’s mine?”

“Yes, she’s your daughter. Can’t you see how much she looks like you and June?” Roxie held up a picture of her daughter, one taken last Christmas, when Roxie went to visit for a couple of hours.

“I didn’t notice it when I saw her, but yes, I guess she does.” Lincoln brushed the words aside, his eyes still focused on her face. Watching for lies, for more subterfuge.

“I can’t believe Nathan found the pictures. It must have been when he was looking for my mother’s watch.” Roxie looked down at her hands, at the ring he’d bought to match the bracelet.

“I wanted him to be wrong, Roxie. I really did,” Lincoln sighed, turning away from her, not sure where to go. He felt too deflated to argue but the anger still simmered, hot and electric blue in his chest.

He’d expected her to deny it, maybe tell him that the cute little girl with her nose and the shape of his eyes wasn’t her, their, child. Those blue eyes made it undeniable though.

“Wait, you saw her?” Roxie’s head jerked up, her eyes round with fear again.

“Yes, why shouldn’t I?? She’s my daughter, I think I had a right to see her.” The anger boiled up again, his eyes boring into her to deny him even that. “Of course, you decided ten years ago not to tell me about her, but that doesn’t take away my rights as her father.”

“That’s why you aren’t listed on her birth certificate, I didn’t want you to be burdened with her.”

“She’s my fucking child, Roxie!” Lincoln shouted at her, pushed beyond belief. “I had a right to fucking know but you knew better, right? Well, you were wrong, Chloe, wrong about a lot of fucking things.”

She flinched when he shouted, when he said her real name, when he glared at her with hateful fury. Her head went down again, but then came back up. “I did what I thought was best in the situation. Aunt Katie managed to survive that night and I found her at her sister’s place. She took Lily for me, hid her from those men. Nobody knows she’s mine, except for Lily herself and Aunt Katie. I had to hide her, Lincoln, don’t you understand that?”

Her eyes pleaded for understanding, but Lincoln wasn’t in a forgiving mood. “No, I don’t understand that at all, Roxie, not when you should have contacted me. I’d have been able to keep her safe.”

“If you saw her, then I guess you’re right, in a way.” Roxie paused to wipe tears from her eyes. “I must not have hidden her very well if you found her.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got security looking out for her now. That won’t be a worry.” Lincoln pushed a hand through his hair, pacing as the anger fluctuated between explosive and controlled. “I want to see her properly.”

“No, you aren’t on her birth certificate, and you have no rights to her, at all.” Roxie stood up, her face set in determination. “She’s settled in her life with Aunt Katie, she’s happy there. Don’t go disrupting that peace for her.”

“She’s my child, Roxie!” He shouted again, not even meaning to, but how could he not make her understand that he wanted to keep the girl safe while being a part of her life? “You had no right to deny me that.”

“I couldn’t, oh, for fuck’s sake, Lincoln, how many times do I have to say it? We hated each other back then. Okay, we had sex, but that was a one-time thing and it wouldn’t have happened again. You were a grown man and I’d barely finished high school. It wouldn’t have worked. It was best to just hide her with Aunt Katie and try to get on with life. I send money for her every week, I send gifts and I go visit when I can, when it’s safe. I had no other choice at the time.”

“But you did, Roxie, you could have called me. You could have told me what was going on and I’d have done everything it took to keep you both safe, whether you hated me or not.” He didn’t elaborate on the admission that the hate had been one-sided, he didn’t want to go into that right now. “You never gave me a chance to help, you took all of that, everything, away from me.”

He pictured her as she’d been back then - scared, anxious, broken in so many ways. Then he tried to picture her pregnant, with his baby, and something melted in his heart. He’d always wanted children and now he had one. One that she was still denying him.

“I can get a DNA test and force the matter. I can take it to court and get custody of her.”

“You wouldn’t take her from me.” Roxie’s eyes went wide as she gaped at him. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“Oh, you mean like you did to me? I damn well would, Roxie. Believe it.” He gathered up the file and glared at her.

“I won’t let you do that,” she said softly, but he heard the menace behind it.

As much as it might make him a dick, he knew she had little money. She wouldn’t be able to fight him if he filed for full custody. Plus he knew a few judges that would be happy to help him out.

“Try me,” he answered, a very dangerous smile in place.