Page 24 of Twisted Fate

“I want to say no, again, but after that little incident…” Her voice trailed off, but picked back up once she sat down on the other end of the couch. “I don’t want to, but the bigger nursery is there, you’ll be around at night, and dammit, I hate it, but yeah, I think it’s time.”

“I know you like being independent, and I won’t intrude on that there, I promise.” He knew part of the reason she was so reticent to take help from him was because she’d learned what it was like to take care of herself, properly, for once and she didn’t want to give that up.

He knew the main reason was because he’d walked out on her, she didn’t have to say the words for him to know that. He’d fucked up and yeah, he might have lived with that knowledge for the rest of his life if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. He was man enough to own up to the fact that he probably would have found an excuse to talk to her, to try to repair their relationship, whether she’d been pregnant or not. If only to himself.

He’d had enough time now to wrap his head around the situation, time to take stock of what he really wanted in life, and he wasn’t surprised when he came to the conclusion that it was Keily and their children that he wanted. Not Keily because of the babies, but Keily and the babies.

“You know, Keily, I don’t feel like you’ve trapped me.” He stated bluntly, his eyes glued to hers to put weight behind his words. “I know you think I’m a dick, and yeah, I have been, but that’s changed now. And not just because of the babies, before that critical brain of yours twists my words up.”

He smiled when she blushed and knew that was exactly what she’d been doing.

“I’m not pushing you, you’re uncomfortable, you’re heavily pregnant, and your tiny frame is overwhelmed. I’m just offering you my help.” He stopped talking when tears formed in her eyes. Damn, he’d made her cry. That wasn’t what he’d wanted at all. “What did I say?”

“Nothing, it’s hormones, that’s all.” She sniffed and reached for a box of tissues she’d recently put on the coffee table. He had a suspicion her tears were why she had them there. “I’ve just been humiliated, even if you didn’t mind, and now I’m having to accept help again. It’s hurting my feelings, that all.”

“Well, stop that, you don’t have to have hurt feelings at all. Just let me take care of you for now, no strings, no expectations, just a friend helping a friend. Or, rather, a father helping the mother of his children.” He twisted his lips and tilted his head a little in a frown of bemusement.

“It is an awkward situation, isn’t it?” She finally said after a long pause.

“It is, yes, one we’re both responsible for, so would you please stop taking on all the burden and let me help you?” His frown deepened. That was it exactly, he decided before going on. “Those are my babies too, and you’re taking away all of the joy of being an expectant father, do you realize that?”

Her eyes went round and her mouth fell open. She blinked a few times and he could see she was thinking it over, perhaps for the first time.

“I guess I have done that, haven’t I?” She was the one frowning now and tears filled up her eyes again. “I’m sorry. I just expected you’d think I got pregnant on purpose, or walk away, all the things I’ve heard about over the years, all the things men have done in the past.”

She wasn’t making a lot of sense, but at the same time, she was. Women had been put through the wringer throughout time and what else could she expect from someone that had walked out on her before, in such a cruel way? Yeah, he’d been kind of justified, but had he really?

“I know our past is a wall between us, but I’ve come to realize, Keily, you were a young girl back then. You weren’t responsible for any of that. Joe was.” He admitted to her, at last. It was the first time he’d really let himself talk about Joe with her.

He knew though, that if he wanted to tear down that wall between them, they had to start talking, before it was too late.

“I’m sorry, Logan.” She sniffed again, wiped at her nose, and looked up at him, exhausted, miserable, and full of sadness. “I can’t ever forgive myself for leaving you that night.”

“Hush, woman.” He looked away, overcome by her apology. “There wasn’t anything you could have done. We were both outnumbered and it was just, well, it’s the past.”

He wanted to push the memories back into the past, wanted to do away with them altogether, to bring the moment back to now, despite his thoughts only moments ago. It was still a painful subject, sore and infected with fear he didn’t want to relive. “Anyway, let’s pack up some of your clothes and whatever else you need. Are you back in class this week?”

“No, I decided not to chance it and I’ve taken a leave of absence for a semester. Since I don’t need financial aid or anything, I can get away with two semesters, if I have to. I didn’t want to, but, babies.” She said simply, pointing at her distended belly with a hopeful but still sad smile.

“You’ll get back to it.” And he had no doubt she would.

An hour later they had his car and her Bronco loaded up with what she absolutely had to have, and he’d talked to the landlady. Logan didn’t tell Keily, but he paid for six months of rent to keep the place open for her, in case she wanted to come back. And he had to admit as he followed her back to his house, she’d seemed more comfortable at that trailer than she had anywhere else he’d been with her.

That was likely because she paid for her bills, but he also thought the humble surroundings made her proud of what she’d accomplished. Yeah, she was in a trailer, but it was the place she’d made her home. The only reason she was even agreeing to move in with him was because she needed the help. The small guest room was too small for him and the trailer was too small for them to live in without getting in each other’s way.

There was plenty of room to spread out at his house and for them to maintain the distance she was desperate to keep between them. If she weren’t pregnant, he’d just sweep her up and kiss her protests away. He’d whisper whatever it took, as long as it was true, to get her to be his again.

For now, he’d wait, not stress her out, and let her have some peace. The housekeeper would be there to help her during the day and in the evenings, he’d be there to keep an eye on her. She wouldn’t be alone and could relax, knowing someone was always there to help.

And maybe he’d get to take her defenses down, one by one, without her noticing.

Logan smiled as they pulled into his driveway and he helped her into the house. She looked back at him as he took her to a bedroom just across from his. He knew she remembered being in his room, the things they’d done in there. The things they could do again, if she’d only give him one chance to prove he could be what she needed.

For a moment, he thought she was about to speak, but then she turned away. Logan felt his heart lurch in his chest when she opened the door without a word and walked into the bedroom. The moment was gone before it had even started.

He brought up everything she’d packed but had to get back to the office before he could unpack for her. “Judith will come and help you; I’ll see you later, Keily. Buzz me if you need anything before I come home.”

She smiled a thank you as he turned away and left her.