Page 2 of Dancing With Doubt

“I know.” Roxie gave a rueful smile but deep down she was touched that he’d kept her secrets, even if he had revealed to June that he knew she was safe. She could understand that and knew he hadn’t given anything away, or else June would have found her long ago.

“So, all the trouble is gone now?” June asked, her eyebrows higher on her forehead.

“Yeah.” Roxie nodded, but she didn’t quite meet June’s gaze. “Seems so.”

“Good, then we can catch up and spend time together again.” June giggled, a sound that Roxie remembered from their childhood and suddenly, she was that carefree girl she used to be, if only for the moment.

“God, I’ve missed you.” She let June’s hand go and sat back in the chair to cross her legs under the table. “Life just hasn’t been the same without you.”

“Or you.” June quickly replied, sipping at her coffee. She pointed at Roxie with her mug. “You don’t know what it was like comparing other girls to you when I started at the university. It wasn’t so bad at med school, I didn’t have time to talk to anyone, barely even my family.”

“I’m irreplaceable, huh?” Roxie teased, but June nodded somberly.

“You are, you really are.” June’s soft smile was back, and it was her eyes that wandered now, avoiding Roxie’s blue gaze. “I was never really good at making friends, but it never mattered when you were there with me.”

“You had plenty of other friends.” Roxie protested, remembering all the girls that used to flock around them. They’d only ever really needed each other back then but other girls were always around.

“Not really, they were all attracted to you, like moths to flames,” June answered poetically and that made them both laugh unexpectedly. “Good grief, that was bad.”

“No, but it was close.” Roxie teased and just like that, they were old friends again, completely at ease. Or, as at ease as Roxie could manage these days. “I hadn’t planned on meeting you again, not in this lifetime, but I’m glad I did.”

“Speaking of, how long have you and Lincoln been dating?” June asked nonchalantly, but the way she tilted her head made that a lie.

“We aren’t.” Roxie corrected her quickly, putting that idea to bed. “We’re just…friends.”

“Mmhmm, I don’t believe you for some reason.” June glanced down at the dress that Roxie thought she’d closed surreptitiously earlier and knew June had caught the move. “Or is this your every day, going to see a friend look?”

“Really, ask Lincoln. We’re just friends.” Roxie wanted to be honest with her friend and explain the current situation between her and Lincoln, but he was a private person, he wouldn’t appreciate her spilling the beans. Add to that the fact that she’d become rather closed off herself over the last ten years, and, well, opening up to anyone but Lincoln was hard. Their contract was up and neither had talked about renewing it since they’d come back from Cambodia. Explaining that to June was just not something she was willing to do.

“I’ll buy it, for now,” June said with narrowed eyes, clearly not buying any of it. “I can respect your need for privacy though. I haven’t told my parents how much I hate being a doctor, so I can understand not wanting to talk about Lincoln. Even if you won’t explain to me why you’d be friends with Lincoln and not reconnect with me immediately.”

Roxie noted the hurt in June’s voice but chose to focus on the other thing she’d said. “You hate being a doctor?”

“Well, kind of, yes and no. I love helping people have children, that part is great. It’s the constant tremendous stress I’m under and knowing a patient’s life is in my hands when I’m performing procedures that really gets to me. I hate those parts. And the constant disappointment for some patients, even when I warn them that they aren’t good candidates for some of the treatments they want. It’s heartbreaking and sometimes, I just want to disappear and start a new life.”

“I can understand that.” Roxie’s head bent down as shame flooded through her. The unspoken ‘like you did’ stung. She knew June didn’t mean it that way, but the implication was still there. “I can even recommend it in some respects, but in others? You end up missing people and parts of your old life. And you have to change, become someone new and that isn’t always a good thing.”

“I can promise you, giving up my life in New York wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” June laughed softly and picked up her mug, sipping at the coffee before she spoke again. “I could devote more time to drawing my Japanese Zen circles, which is something I do before every surgery or procedure. It lets me know if I’m in a good mental state before each procedure and helps me to focus. If my hands are too shaky to draw, I take a minute, practice some breathing exercises, stuff like that.”

“You’re under a lot of pressure, aren’t you?” Roxie asked, her concern thick in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m the head of the fertility department at Dad’s medical group. The Bennet Medical Group owns the hospital, an online clinic that operates through apps, a pharmacy, several fertility clinics, vision correction clinics in Europe, and probably more places I can’t remember at the moment. There’s too much to remember.” June gave a shy smile before she shrugged. “Anyway, I have to get ready to go to this conference but maybe we can meet up again, before I go back to New York?”

“Sure, yeah, give me your phone, I’ll give you my number,” Roxie said and took June’s phone. “I’ve added my email too, if you want to use that instead.”

“Cool. I’m glad I found you again, Lol-I mean Roxie.” June’s wide smile was back again, her face which had barely changed in the last ten years was as familiar to Roxie as her own.

“I’m glad you did, too, even if it was by accident,” Roxie said, thinking over all the things she’d left unsaid, or deliberately avoided saying. Like how it was Lincoln who’d helped her escape from those men that night, and why it was important for her to keep a lot of things to herself now.

Years ago, she’d have poured everything out to June, but now? Now, there were secrets she had to keep from everybody, even herself in some regards. Things she would not allow herself to think about, except for those nights when she was totally alone, unable to fight off her guilty conscience.

“I hate to break this up, but I have to give a speech. Otherwise, I’d blow it off.” June said apologetically but Roxie waved her off.

“It’s not a problem. We’ll meet up again soon. I promise.” Roxie hoped she could keep that promise. “I’d better find Lincoln anyway and find out what he was after.”

“But you aren’t dating at all. Mmhmm.” June pulled her bottom lip in, but it did nothing to hide her grin or the impish light in her eyes.

“We aren’t.” Roxie laughed with her friend, but she wasn’t actually telling a fib, was she? After all, contracts weren’t for those that were romantically involved, were they?