Page 38 of Dancing With Temptation

Three days had passed since they’d made it back to their real lives and he’d had a lot of time to think. She’d rested the first couple of days but had sent him a text earlier today saying she was going out with Emily to get her nails done and have lunch. He’d smiled at the kiss emoji she sent along with the text, remembering that night in the village when she woke him with her mouth wrapped around him.

His body responded immediately, but he ignored it. He had a lot to do, a lot to sort through since he’d been gone for two weeks, not the few days he’d planned. Yeah, he loved being with her, loved how close they were, but it was a weakness he couldn’t afford right now. He had to watch over her, make sure he found out who the bastards were that were after her in the past, and protect her from the new threats that asshole Nathan had brought to her.

Nathan was still in hiding. Tanya and Kai were working with the security team to try to trace him and the new guys that were after Nathan and Roxie both. Lincoln was considering contacting one of his oldest friends, a man who’d dropped off the radar lately. A man that was entrenched in the Italian Mafia from the moment he was born. He’d save it, for now, knowing the guy had a lot on his plate.

He’d thought it was just Cambodia that had melted his heart enough to let her truly in, that had made him a little more carefree, but he figured out that last night in Cambodia, as he watched her cry, that it wasn’t just Cambodia. It was her. She’d let herself open up and that had suckered him right into letting down his own guard. He’d understood better than she knew that her grief wasn’t just about leaving all those people behind, it was leaving behind who they were there. Like people that went on vacation all the time, he’d hoped that he’d go back to his old self once he got home, but he knew that night that she was in his heart and she’d never go away.

Even though there were more direct flights to Singapore, he had deliberately asked Tanya to book the long way round to get to Cambodia. He wanted to drag the trip out, so he could spend more time with Roxie. He knew it wasn’t very rational. Billionaires never traveled like that, and he wouldn’t in normal circumstances. But he just couldn’t help wanting to spend more time with Roxie, even if the traveling was less than comfortable for him, and made her wanted to kill him. Part of him always seemed to enjoy winding Roxie up; when she was wound up, the Chloe inside of her came out.

She’d pirouetted her way into his heart a very long time ago, and had burrowed deeper during their time in the village. That was way too much for his liking, so he hadn’t responded to that earlier text with anything other than a thumb pointing up.

Now, he was in his office, contemplating what to do with himself. He had to pull away from her somehow, without totally breaking the connection. He just wanted some space, not to walk away from her completely. He had to get his bearings somehow.

Kai called him and asked him to come up to New York for dinner. Lincoln was still exhausted from the trip but decided to go. Maybe a dose of his old life would remind him of why he needed to put up a wall that Roxie couldn’t get past.

Tanya arranged a flight out an hour later and Lincoln raced home to pack some clothes and collect the keys to his apartment in New York. He didn’t call Roxie or send her a message, he just left. It took some effort, but he ignored the pang of guilt he felt about that.

Kai picked him up at the airport and they went out to one of the top restaurants the city had to offer. He looked around at well-dressed men and women, all using impeccable manners to build the façade of polite society. Nobody spoke too loudly, or caused a scene, it was all self-control and few real laughs. Even the smiles seemed like facsimiles of the real thing. Lincoln remembered the way Roxie would laugh with the children in the village, or when she whispered with Chantou, and missed the sound.

Still, he made himself stay put. Love did not last, if it was ever real, and he needed to remind himself of that fact.

He went back to his apartment alone after dinner and stared out at the city below. It was here that he belonged, even if his heart wanted to be in Myrtle Beach. His jaw hardened as he sipped at a glass of bourbon. Somehow, he had to put Roxie at arm’s length, had to get her out of his head.

Real-life meant that he had to be vigilant for threats, not only to her but to his business. He didn’t have time for gallivanting around the globe or playing house. He had responsibilities, people counting on him.

Memories flooded into his brain and he closed his eyes, his free hand in the pocket of the black trousers he wore. The smile she’d worn every evening as she told him about her day, the way she laughed, the way she begged him to love her. That memory haunted him because he’d known, he’d seen it in her eyes, that she’d been asking for more than his body. She’d asked him for his heart, and he’d given it to her.

Until now.

He had to take it back. He didn’t want to, he wanted to love her, have a life with her, maybe even create a family with her. But her name was Roxie now, not Chloe, and that meant she couldn’t have a real place in his life. Not because she was a dancer or because she’d been a stripper, but because she was hiding. In trouble.

He wouldn’t walk away from her, he decided. He’d give his very life for her if it came down to it, but he wouldn’t give her his heart. That had to be his and only his.

He’d have to hide it somehow, protect it from her. She didn’t deserve that, she deserved peace and happiness, deserved what they’d had in Cambodia, but he couldn’t be the one to give it to her. Even if she became free of her past, he still wouldn’t be able to give her what she deserved, not really.

He’d always be waiting for signs that she was bored with him, he’d always worry that she was tired of life with him and on the lookout for the next thrill, the man with more money. His brain rejected those thoughts. Roxie wasn’t anything like this mother, but would she ever want to give up the life she lived now?

Those nights in Cambodia, that last night especially, had proven that to him, but there was still that part of him that would not let the thoughts go.

Roxie loved excitement, thrived on danger, could make him beg for a moment of her attention with her skills. Would she really want to give that life up? A life that meant she didn’t have to stay faithful to one man or woman, that meant she could explore whatever she wanted to, in exchange for the housecoats and baby diapers he could provide?

There were far too many doubts to let his heart run free, as had always been the case. He couldn’t count on anything but himself. That’s how it had always been and how it would always be. He couldn’t stand to feel or experience the heartbreak he’d seen on so many of his former stepfathers’ faces when his mother walked out on them. He couldn’t let a woman break him like that. Ever.

He ended up staying in New York for three more days, just to prove to himself that he could do it. She called, texted him, but he kept the conversations short, always cutting her off mid-sentence to say he had to handle something, while he ignored some of her text messages. He knew she was getting upset by the third day, she hadn’t called or texted him at all.

The first couple of days her voice had been happy, full of hope, but yesterday she sounded…defeated. He hated hearing that sound in her voice, hated how hopeless she sounded, but still, he’d interrupted her to end the call quickly.

He didn’t want to be cruel to her, he didn’t want to break her, but he had to do this to protect himself. From her.

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He had to stop himself from calling her a hundred times. He had to stop himself from boarding a plane and flying back to her. It was worse at night when he craved her scent, her touch, her voice, and those incredible eyes of hers. He’d taken a lot of cold showers over the last few days. He’d burned for her in his bed, alone at night, but he hadn’t broken.

When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he flew back to the beach. But even then, he didn’t call her. He sat in his beach house alone, watching the waves crash against the sand as their time in the village replayed in his mind over and over again. He didn’t go near his playroom at all, knowing he’d break if he did.

It wasn’t fun, it was the most painful thing he’d ever put himself through. He missed every part of her, needed to be near her more than he’d ever needed anything else in his life, but he waited. He held his breath when the need threatened to overwhelm his own will, when he found his phone in his hand ready to call her.

It hurt that she stopped calling him, but he knew she wasn’t stupid. She’d know what he was doing and accept it. Whether she’d come to him when he did finally ask to see her remained to be seen. It was a chance he had to take.

Even if she refused to see him after this, he’d be able to keep an eye on her. He’d be able to protect her from the danger she was in, even if she never wanted to speak to him again. It would be worth losing her if it meant he’d get to watch her grow old.