Page 28 of Dancing With Lies

She smiled at him over her shoulder and shook her head. “No, I really need to get back home.”

“Alright, see you Monday.” He nodded and shrugged. “Thanks for coming over.”

“You’re welcome.” She responded and left before she changed her mind.

Lincoln was a complication, a major one.

She hadn’t forgotten him over the years, she never could. But she’d moved on, built a life for herself, left the past behind. When he found her, he’d brought an assload of fear, guilt, and worry with him, though he may not have realized it. The last couple of weeks, working with him had been hard, not just because of that though. She’d been mortified to learn that her body still remembered him, still wanted to dream about him in all kinds of situations.

Okay, she admitted to herself, in all kinds of positions. That was one of the reasons she was so damn grouchy. It had been months since she’d had sex and those dreams were so vivid she barely wanted to wake up. She wanted to stay there with Lincoln, in a sensual land where nothing existed but pleasure.

Which was better than the nightmares but made her just as restless. That wasn’t good because she had to go to work for the man. And that was Nathan’s fault too. She almost wished she’d never set eyes on the guy now; he’d caused her so many problems.

She didn’t know what would happen when, if, she saw him again, but she’d have to put her foot down one way or the other. He’d either have to face up to what he’d done, or she was through with him, alone or not. She’d almost loved him, she was sure of it, but he’d thrown it away for what? Gambling? Drugs? Was she worth so little to him?

Her head was nearly splitting in two by the time she got home a little while later. She thought about calling Kitty and River but knew they were probably both busy. River had her sex-mad couple and Kitty worked the late shifts at the strip club. Wendy was busy at work, as well, and Emily was probably doing something kinky with Dylan. Or busy with some other family stuff.

Instead of wallowing in self-pity, she took a couple of Tylenol, picked up a book, and tried to relax. She ended up throwing the book at the bedroom wall and went out for a ride on her bike instead. She couldn’t get Lincoln off her mind, the way his face had drawn so close to hers until she could almost feel his lips on hers replayed over and over in her memory.

She’d wanted him to kiss her. Wanted him to throw her down on that massage table and find out exactly what those toys could wring out of her, wanted it badly, but he’d called her Lolly. It was something all the kids at Dr. Bennet’s house had called her at some point. Even her own parents had started to call her that from time to time and that sweetly whispered name had been brutal to hear again.

Instead of crying, she rode her bike out to the nearest beach, locked it up, and went to walk in the surf barefoot. She didn’t care about jellyfish or stepping on shells hidden in the darkness, not when she felt as if she was about to crawl out of her own skin. Other, older memories threatened to emerge, but she let the wind blow them away, let it blow away her tears, as she faced the ocean with sad eyes.

The sky was black, a storm was in the air, but she didn’t care. The ocean had become a sort of refuge to her, and she found solace there now. She wasn’t dancing anymore so this was the last place left for her. But she had danced that night, she remembered with a twist in her guts. She’d danced for Lincoln, she’d danced ballet.

Holy fucking shit, what was he doing to her?

She wanted to scream, to pour all her stress into that scream, and let it all out, but she didn’t know if anyone was around. She didn’t want to freak anyone out, so she held it in and let the tears stream down her face.

Alone as usual, as she’d preferred it before Nathan came along, she stared out into the ocean and let herself cry. Really cry for the first time in a long time. Sobs tore from her as she remembered her mother’s caring smile, a smile that tilted up higher at one corner. She sank down into the sand as she remembered the way her father used to hug her close, as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him. Even as a child, she’d known that thing was really her mother, but she knew she came next because of his bear hugs.

The others played in her mind; June, Liam, Dr. Bennet. And another face, one she quickly pushed away. So many memories, so much pain, how was she supposed to bear it all? And do it alone, again?

Damn him, she thought as Lincoln’s face came to mind once more. Damn him for bringing her past back to life. Damn him for reminding her of what it was like to feel love, even if it had only been for a few hours, decades ago.

She turned away from the ocean a short while later, her mind still a jumble but her headache gone. She wanted a few tacos and some sleep. She had one more day off before she had to face him again and something told her she’d need that rest.

11

Lincoln

A week had passed since he’d called Roxie to bring him Chinese food. A week where his dreams plagued him with memories of her exotic dancing, performing ballet, and the gleam in her eye when they broke into Kai’s playroom. He’d been curious about that room for a long time, but Kai had always kept it a secret.

Now he knew and the fact that he’d almost kissed her in that room stayed with him. He couldn’t get that room out of his waking thoughts. He couldn’t stop imagining the things they might do in that room. Which made the hunt for a suitable home of his own in Myrtle Beach even more urgent. He thought there might be a chance that Roxie was the woman he wanted to explore the world of sex with.

Rather, he knew that’s what he wanted, but was it what she wanted?

She had pulled away from that kiss only because he’d called her Lolly. What might have happened if he’d kept that word out of his mouth?

The possibilities were vast, and he hoped there’d be some chance of exploring that moment further when she showed up to work on Monday. She’d been professional as always and hadn’t given him a moment where he could broach the subject properly. She had a wall around her that he thought he might not be able to break through.

If he needed evidence of what her life had been like since she left New York all those years ago, he’d seen it when she picked that padlock. The girl that had been Chloe would have never dreamed about doing such a thing. She certainly wouldn’t have known how to do it. This Chloe, this Roxie, was someone different entirely.

He’d seen glimmers of the girl he used to know when she’d started to dance around Kai’s house, as graceful and beautiful as ever as she went through the ballet routine. That dance had been a part of her life that she couldn’t forget, even if she’d put the dream of being in a famous ballet company away.

He turned his thoughts to his phone as it buzzed an alert at him. He saw an email from one of the local real estate agents and opened it. The property was a beach house that he wanted from the moment he saw it. Set back on a private plot of land, fenced off and protected, the house was perfect, near the sea but not so close that hurricanes would wash it away, but close enough to see the storms as they came in.

He didn’t care about bedrooms or a pool, he just wanted something he could relax in at the end of the day, and this was it. The house came with modern, state-of-the-art appliances in the kitchen and laundry room, but there was no furniture in any of the bedrooms or other rooms.