Page 18 of Dark Time

“You’ll see. Come on, hurry up.” We paid our bill and left, and then I drove us to another store.

We nearly cleaned the place out of Christmas decorations, and it took some doing, but we got a Christmas tree in the car and managed to get it up to the apartment with the help of a security guard from downstairs. We both giggled when we got in and started to unpack bags and boxes.

“Are you sure Dylan won’t mind?” Roxie asked as she hung some silver decorations on the tree.

“I don’t know,” I said and paused as I hung a wreath on the wall with a removable hanger. “He’s not religious, but he hasn’t said he hates Christmas or anything.”

“Hmm. I know this much, if my partner had gone through this much trouble to surprise me, I would not complain.” She went back to hanging ornaments, and I tried not to laugh.

We had so many lights on the tree, I thought we could act as a beacon for airplanes, but it was pretty, and later, when we turned the lights off, the living room looked like a Christmas wonderland. I even had a tiny little Christmas village on a side table.

“Oh, it’s so pretty!” I whispered. When I was young, my parents paid someone to decorate our house for Christmas, and I’d never had the chance to decorate a tree or a house of my own. Later, wherever I went was home, and I was never invited for the decorating or things like that. So this was the first time I’d ever decorated a tree, and I was proud of it. I couldn’t wait for Dylan to see it.

He’d either hate it, or he’d love that I’d done it. I had a feeling it would be the latter. He always went to an effort to thank me when I did something for him, which was often. Roxie and I settled down to watch movies and eat ice cream, as we’d planned, and it was fun. We didn’t do it often enough.

I broke out a bottle of wine, and we watched some more movies. Before long, she was asleep on the couch, and I left her there. I went into the kitchen and hung up the kitchen towels I’d bought, and set a plate down on the counter. It was the pattern I’d chosen for our new place.

Maybe it was a bit old fashioned, but I’d loved the rose petals and the gold edging. It was maybe even a little tacky, not modern at all, but I wanted something that expressed my tastes in that place, something that said I lived there too. I wanted something that was different, colorful, so I’d chosen the pattern.

Dylan would accept it, because I wanted it, and I smiled because I was confident in him now. We might not be quite at the stage where we were planning our wedding or picking out baby names, but we were both making an attempt at being grownups with real relationships.

I sat in the kitchen and realized just how lucky I was. Things might not have been completely solid with Dylan, but they were as solid as they could be, and in the living room I had a real friend. One who wanted what was best for me, not what she thought I wanted to hear so that I’d just shut up and watch her kids. Which might be a little unfair to my sisters-in-law. They were so enamored with their husbands, kids, and lives that I was just a background, no different to other people in their lives.

I kind of envied that kind of love. It was something I wanted with Dylan, and I had to admit, he consumed my thoughts now. For once, I didn’t feel bad about that. He was truly amazing to me, and he deserved the love I could give him. He’d allowed his adoptive parents to love him, but he hadn’t let anyone else into his life. Until me.

I had to make sure I continued to deserve that chance. I’d nearly messed it up when I didn’t tell him who I was before he found out. The second I’d walked out the door I’d felt the world begin to collapse. Then he’d come after me, and there’d been a pause in that destruction. Then we went to the mountains, and he’d given me snow.

Then there’d been a few dark days, when I’d started to worry about him, but he’d worked it out, and now we were closer than ever. That wasn’t a bad thing.

I got up, walked into the glow of the living room, and wondered if I’d gone overboard. I was certain I had, but oh well. It was my first Christmas on my own. I could go a little wild, surely? I turned the lights off, covered Roxie up, and touched her cheek. She had given me so much, and it touched me how she’d fallen asleep so quickly. She’d had it rough lately, and she’d been working her ass off, obviously. She’d still be awake normally, so at least I could give her some rest.

I went to the bedroom and scrolled around online, looking for a Christmas present for Dylan. I wanted something that would make him smile. What could it be? He wasn’t a gaming console kind of guy, he was too busy to play games. The only jewelry he’d ever worn was the jewelry I bought him.

Hmmm. I did a search for gifts for men, but everybody thought their products made great gifts for men. I didn’t think plumbing pipes were that great of a gift, but a woman selling handmade knitted sweaters caught my eye. I found a few things in her online shop that I liked. A gray cable-knit sweater, some gloves, and a hat in the same yarn, all went into my basket.

I could give him a hug for hours in that sweater, I thought with a goofy grin. Or at least give him the feeling of being hugged, which was corny, but fuck it. They weren’t cheap presents, and I paid extra for quick delivery. I found a few other things that I liked on other shops and bought those too. Soon, I’d have presents to go under the tree.

I felt almost like a kid again, only this time, the big kid was able to really act on her instincts. When I was younger I always had to be so proper, I was never allowed to misbehave, and after a while, it never occurred to me. When other girls were going bad and acting wild, I stayed at home and did whatever was needed of me. Maybe part of me felt a little guilty about Trent, that he’d lost his real mother and he’d had to deal with us. For a long time I felt like I owed him more because of that. Now? He could fuck off.

I’d paid him back a thousand times for what he’d lost, and for real, he could have seen us as gifts, but he’d just pouted. Now? Well? I might have had an extra glass of wine to prove that I could do what I wanted to. I was a grown fucker, I’d do what I’d want.

I laughed loudly, but smothered it when I remembered Roxie was in the living room. I put some Enrique Iglesias on my phone, plugged in my earbuds, and began to dance around my bedroom like a lunatic. Can you blame me? I was one happy woman and had a lot to look forward to. For the first time in my life, I was truly free and almost wild.

I had given up an entire family, for one man, but I was getting far more from the deal than that. I got my freedom, I got to be me, even if I was only learning who that was now. I had a lot to be happy about, and some dancing seemed to be in order for the occasion.

Dylan

I arrived at the penthouse ready to tear Emily’s clothes off and fuck her until neither of us could hold our heads up. I’d made a stop in Kansas to pick up some test results, and I hadn’t really wanted to spend too much time thinking about what the doc said, so I’d fantasized about her the whole way back on the plane. I was more than ready for her when the elevator doors opened on my floor.

Maybe I should have called her to let her know I’d be home today. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to spend in Kansas, and I hadn’t wanted to tell her about that trip. As a result, my coming home was a surprise. As soon as I opened the door, I knew I should have called her.

The whole place smelled like a Christmas extravaganza of gingerbread cookies and peppermint candy. When I made it out of the hallway I found out why. I was completely shocked to find the living room a Christmas wonderland, right down to a very large tree filled to the brim with decorations.

I walked into the kitchen and then the bathroom and found those had been decorated too. Even our bed had winter-themed sheets and a comforter on them. I grinned as I thought about how she must have worked really hard to get all of this done. It was almost too much, but I could see the childlike enthusiasm that had gone into it. This was a person who had finally been allowed to do just as she’d pleased when it came to Christmas decorations, and she’d done it well.

The overall affect was a tad overwhelming, but at the same time, it invited you to come in and play, to join in the festivities with total abandon. An idea formed as I walked back into the living room. Emily had a degree in hotel management, and she’d never had the chance to use it. Even her family didn’t know she’d managed to rack up that accomplishment. I wondered how she’d feel about working for me.

She was a smart woman, sensible in most things, and dedicated to the causes she took up. She would be an asset to any company that wanted to succeed. I’d get to see her when I was at the hotel working.