Page 5 of Somebody To Love

“What? And miss out on all the action? No way. If you’re confronting Jerry the no-talent cheater then I’m going too.”

I looked at Dana and knew she was serious. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wasn’t the confrontational type unless I was defending someone I loved. No. I would just move on. Forget about Jerry.

As if reading my mind, Dana said, “Actually, maybe confronting him is a bad idea. It seems like his daughter will probably handle that for you. And you don’t want to be in the crosshairs if his wife shows up and sees you.”

I nodded, “I need better taste in men.”

“No kidding.”

“Hey!”

Dana laughed as she pulled up in front of my house. It was a small, cute home in an up-and-coming neighborhood. I loved it. And I always felt proud when pulling up to it. It was my home and I had done a lot of the remodeling on my own.

Dana parked the car and looked at me. “I’m sorry that this happened. For what it’s worth, I know what that feels like and I’m really sorry that happened to you. Jerry’s a dick. And also, you should probably get tested since maybe you weren’t the only one he was playing hide the sausage with.”

I winced, but I knew she was right. And there was one other thing. I had booked us a long weekend at a fancy hotel near a bunch of lakes since Jerry loved water sports. Now I had a super-luxe hotel room for a weekend and no one to take. And if I cancelled now, I wouldn’t get any of my money back.

I mentioned it to Dana, figuring that she would jump at the chance to do something fun.

Dana frowned. “I would love to take it. I really would, but with Carter and the twins and Meredith—” She stopped suddenly and then said, “Take Meredith. She’s been dying to get out of the house and do something fun and she’s on spring break next weekend.”

“You think she wants to spend spring break with her crazy aunt?”

“Better than spending it with her boring parents and annoying siblings.”

“She called you guys boring and the twins annoying?”

“Never out loud. But I have a sneaky feeling.”

I laughed and shrugged. “That’s totally understandable.” I reached out and hugged Dana. She grunted and said, “That’s a little too hard. I can barely breathe.”

“I’m sorry. I just want you to know that I appreciate you. If it weren’t for you being there in the bar, I probably would be a sobbing mess right now.”

She pulled away and shrugged. “That’s what friends are for.”

At that moment I didn’t feel like I even deserved a friend. I felt lower than low. I didn’t tell Dana I was silently beating myself up. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, hurt. I just wanted to go into a dark closet and live there. How could I have missed all the signs? Or had I been deliberately obtuse and just ignored them all? Had I put my own search for happiness above what was right? I didn’t want to think that I was THAT kind of person, but maybe I was. And now my selfishness had hurt someone. More than hurt someone, my selfishness had broken up a family. The thought made me feel sick.

I said goodnight and then made my way slowly to my front door. I opened the door, tossed my keys on the table in the entryway, slammed the door in frustration and then collapsed face first on my couch.

The tears didn’t come immediately, but with my face in the pillows I finally let myself cry. I didn’t like crying in front of anyone, even my best friend.

And when I was finally done crying I picked up my phone and noticed he had texted me. I felt too sorry for myself to be angry, so I read his text.

It simply said, “Hey, where you at?”

I knew the mature thing would be to just ignore him, but I was finally starting to feel something other than shock and shame. Finally, I was feeling anger.

“I’m home. How’s the family?” I texted back.

A few minutes later my phone beeped and I looked at the text, “What are you talking about?”

“I met your daughter today. She looks just like you.”

I sat on my couch, hoping he would deny it. I didn’t doubt the young lady, but deep down I hoped it was all a misunderstanding. I didn’t want to be the bad guy in this story. I didn’t want to be the person Jessica Lazarus thought I was: a homewrecker, an adulterer, a liar. When my phone didn’t buzz again, I knew everything I heard was true. Jerry was addicted to his phone. He’d seen my text. He didn’t respond because there was nothing to say.

Feeling like a cheap castoff, I buried my head under a throw pillow, closed my eyes, and went to sleep.

Chapter Two