Page 69 of Billionaire’s Game

Chapter Twelve

I didn’t knowwhere to go. I didn’t want to face Lacey and Jude or the questions I knew she would have for me. Instead, I called Oliver and he welcomed me.

I sat in his garden just thinking about my life and everything I’d been through recently with the “Magnus Situation” when Oliver decided to join me.

“You’re one contemplative lady today.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“Care to share?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me. No, come on. I might be old and weathered, but I know a thing or two about affairs of the heart.”

I looked at Oliver’s face. He had more wrinkles now than I remembered, but he seemed so happy. I knew it was because of Kat now in his life. They had instantly hit it off and I knew they were talking about marriage, but Kat valued her freedom and wasn’t interested. I heard that Oliver respected her decision, so maybe he’d understand my dilemma, even though I was the one running, while he was the one who wanted the relationship.

“I just don’t know what I want out of life anymore. All I’ve been good at is school. It’s all I’ve ever done well. I moved to Florida to try something different. I came to Florida and I got what I wanted. A different life. Adventure.”

“And you’re upset about that?”

“Yes,” I sighed in frustration. “No. I just—life is more complicated now. I’ve been defined by being the smart girl. The geek. The nerd. But here, I’m just me... but I don’t know how to be just me.”

“It really sucks when people accept you for who you are and don’t put a label on you, doesn’t it?” he joked.

I gave a harsh chuckle. “I’m having an identity crisis and I’m only twenty-three.”

He shrugged and crossed his ankles. “Better than having one at fifty. Trust me. I know from experience.”

“Oh, Oliver, what am I going to do with my life?”

“How about you just stop overanalyzing everything?”

“What?”

“You’re a smart young lady. You and Lacey are a lot alike, you know?”

I shook my head. “She’s a sassy, determined, take no prisoners, type of girl. I’m more of a fall in line and do whatever comes next type of girl.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Sometimes you just need to let go and let life happen.”

I looked at him again. He was wearing a plain t-shirt with a rainbow-colored Toucan on the front. He had on neon yellow shorts that were threadbare and a pair of gold running shoes. He was also wearing red-tinted sunglasses that resembled the ones Jerry Garcia always wore.

“I wish I could be more like you, Oliver. More carefree, less uptight.”

“You’re not uptight.”

“That’s what everyone at school thought.”

“You’re not in school anymore.”

He was so right. I wasn’t Lesli, the little girl who didn’t belong.

I was just plain Lesli. And hadn’t that been enough? I’d made friends: Violet and Maya. Just being Lesli was enough for them. Everyone at work liked me. No one else cared about my IQ or anything. They just liked me for me. Magnus liked me. He accepted me for who I was and instead of embracing that, I’d fought it. Even when I realized how I felt about him, I’d fought those emotions.

My rejection of Magnus had nothing to do with him or his stature in life. It had everything to do with my insecurities. I couldn’t love someone else if I didn’t even know how to accept myself. And that was the problem. Magnus wasn’t the problem. He loved me.

But I didn’t believe him, because I didn’t really love me. If I couldn’t accept myself, then how did I think someone else would accept and love me for me?