Page 34 of Boxer Next Door

Lydia

Another two weeks passed, and I came to realize, that after that day he spent the night, only for me to find him gone when I woke up the next day, Ken was pulling away from me.

I’d called that same day he’d disappeared when he didn’t contact me, feeling worried. My worries had died when he told me he’d managed to get in contact with his parents and he was going to visit them. I’d been relieved that it wasn’t something I’d done and that his relationship with his parents wasn’t as hopeless as I’d thought.

Those worries came back, though, and then they tripled. I’d barely seen him since then, even though I knew he’d been back a little over a week. He hadn't called me, and he answered texts when I called but rarely initiated any himself. As far as I could tell, he wasn’t spending that much time at home, so he was probably working at his studio. Sometimes he’d come home late, other times I couldn’t even tell if he made it home when I went to sleep.

Bryson even asked me about him and why he’d stayed away for so long. I hadn't known what to tell him, so I’d just given him the excuse that he was busy with adult stuff. Bryson knew all about that.

Is this what I’d been dreading? I would have liked to have more time…

Annara thought I was ridiculous.

“For all you know,” she counseled, “the guy really could be busy.”

I’d invited her over one evening, after picking Bryson up from school and dropping him off at his friend’s house for the afternoon. She could tell I’d been worried and distracted during our lunch breaks, so she’d started to come over regularly. We were sitting in my living room, drinking wine with the TV blaring some drama that made the perfect background noise.

Well, Annara had a glass of wine, I had a cup of hot chocolate. I glanced over her trim body with only a little envy. Only a little, I thought as I sipped the hot chocolate.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” I complained. “And Christmas is just around the corner…” I was hoping he would loosen up, or things would change as the festive season grew near, but I’d been pessimistic in this relationship since the beginning.

“When was the last time you saw each other?” she asked, taking a sip from her glass.

I shrugged, thinking back. “Before he went to his parents for Thanksgiving. He spent a whole day here. But since then, either he was busy, or I didn’t have time to see him. We’re neighbors, he lives right next door, but it’s like there’s no time for us to meet at all,” I said, fretting, twisting my hands together.

Annara didn’t lose her calm. “It’s pretty normal in relationships where people don’t have time to see each other. Especially since you both work and he’s doing a startup.”

I sighed, leaning sideways against the couch. I knew she was right. So why was my heart still beating unevenly?

“Things should slow down soon, hopefully,” I murmured to myself. “We’re about to close this big case at work. So I’ll have time, at least. And the holidays are coming up. I can take a long break.”

But that would only be on my side. I didn’t know if he’d be making time for me during the holidays, or if he’d have to see his parents again.

“You seriously like thinking too much, don’t you?” Annara said, rolling her eyes at me as she read the bleak expression on my face. “If you’re both busy, then you’re both busy. Wait until you talk to him before jumping to any conclusions, okay?”

I sighed. I’d just have to take her word for it.

Annara couldn’t have more than the one glass of wine since she’d driven over. After it was finished, I walked her to her car and waved as she drove off. Then I got back inside, finished my cup of hot chocolate, and went to wash them in the sink. With that done, I returned to the living room and sat down. I was too restless to do anything so mundane as watch TV, so minutes later, I was picking up my phone to call Kenji.

My first call didn’t go through. I waited, forcing myself to watch the drama that was on TV. It might be a different show from when Annara was round, but I was hardly paying attention. When it ended, I tried again, and still nothing.

“What the fuck, Kenji?” I growled to myself. I was more worried than angry.

The next show started, and it was a movie. I put the phone down and paid attention to it. Ten minutes in, I could guess the storyline, and it had my stomach twisting.

“Of all the things to come on,” I grumbled, picking up the remote. “Why did it have to be some stupid holiday romance?”

But I didn’t change the channel. Since it was Christmas soon, the movie was Christmas themed. The couple met by total accident one night, and the movie detailed how they slowly fell in love with each other over the holidays and beyond. I didn’t realize just how engrossed I’d become in the movie until it was halfway through, and I was still watching it, remote held in hand but not making any move to change the channel.

Damn it!

I set the remote down and hugged my knees to my chest, pulling the blanket I kept on the couch around me. When it got closer to the end, I started to cry. Not only because it was a beautiful movie, but because of the end I could see for the couple. The woman fell pregnant, and there was a time skip that led into the epilogue, where their child was born, both their families were reunited, and they had another happy Christmas with their months old baby.

That would never happen for me, not with Ken.

For one, I was old. I was middle-aged, and for women, the biological clock was something of an enemy. Ken and I didn’t use condoms. We’d both gone to a doctor for testing when we realized we hadn't been using any a week after our strange relationship started. But I religiously took my birth control, as I’d had the doctor refill my prescription, though I still had the old ones from when Mike was around.

Besides, Ken hadn't said anything about starting a family, besides that one time he mentioned settling down with his ex. I wasn’t at the right time in my life for a baby, if I could even still get pregnant.