Page 34 of Bad Star

“I sent the staff away, remember?” he asked.

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me?” Rainn asked and fought back a few tears.

“I love you so much that I cannot stand to let you go,” Jack said. He reached into his pocket and took out a strip of cocaine that had been rolled into a joint.

He then held up her nose and let the powder ran through her nostrils.

Rainn immediately sneezed it out and felt her head spin around the room. She felt weak for a moment and her blood froze in her veins. She felt a slight high before a cold shiver ran up her spine and she hugged herself tightly.

“That’s a good girl.” Jack said before lifting her chin up and adding more cocaine into her other nostrils.

Rainn felt the same reaction as before; now struggling with a foreign headache and dizziness. She could feel her surroundings fade away and relaxed into Jack’s embrace. Her body was suddenly as heavy as lead and everything sounded distant.

Jack held on to her for a minute longer before dipping his hand in the same pocket and pulled out a similar drug. He sniffed the cocaine through both his nostrils just as he had made Rainn do but chased down the drink with his usual gin poison.

“If I can’t have you, no one will,” he let out and moved closer to Rainn. He made her heavy body lie on his chest and smiled when he thought of the Romeo and Juliet scene that he would give the homicide people once they walked in on them. He let the effects of the drugs take over him as he thought of what the afterlife might feel like. He felt encouraged that he would be with Rainn on the other side and hoped that she would not be blind in the other world. The effect on him was faster as he had taken a series of drugs prior and he was soon lying unconscious on the floor. He did not hear Rainn sit up; neither did he hear her crawl away from him on her stomach.

Rainn felt restless, her body was partly paper weight and partly stone like. She fumbled through the room as she tried to make a recollection of having a phone perched somewhere in the vicinity. Her hand finally grabbed at a receiver and hope was rekindled in her when she placed it over her ear and heard that it was working. She punched in Yvonne’s number that she knew by heart and waited for it to connect. The long unanswered beeping sounds were tormenting her and she said a silent prayer that Yvonne would pick up the phone. Her head was feeling lighter and she could feel herself drift away into nothingness.

“Hello?” Yvonne’s voice sounded over the receiver and Rainn felt relief by the sound of her voice.

“It’s Rai…i…i..nnn” she managed to mouth before she realized that her speech was blurry and she could not really make out the words that were coming out of her mouth.

“Rainn? Is that you?” Yvonne asked almost immediately with a concern in her voice. Rainn tried to speak up again, she tried to make the words come out of her mouth but it was an uphill task. Everything in her body seemed to be displaced, misplaced and rearranged.

“Rainn? Rainn? Rainn? Are you there?” Yvonne asked again. Rainn could tell that she was talking to someone else in the room but it was a distant and strange voice to her.

“I think there is something wrong with her, I can’t really reach her!” Yvonne spoke put loud to whoever she was with, in the room.

“He… help me pl… please” Rainn managed to finally say after a lot of effort. Her body slumped to the floor and the phone fell from her hand as well. It rolled out to God knows where and Rainn could feel all the strength in her body slowly succumb to the drugs. She let her head face her lover’s direction and could feel a fresh pool of tears well up in her eyes at the thought of his limp, almost lifeless, body lying on the floor a few feet from her.

She tried to search in her heart for any hateful word that she could utter out to him in these desperate moments. But even at that point, at that moment in her life when Rainn was staring despair right in the face, she could not find it in her to hate Jack.

“You were my drug, Jack.” she thought to herself “You didn’t need to add any other.”

Her eyes were slightly shutting and her lips could not move any more, all distant movement around her slowly came to her halt. Rainn could only imagine Jack’s face smiling down at her just as she had always imagined it. The image warmed her heart and she let out a slight smile before saying.

“I love you Jack, I always will, in this world or the next”.