Page 44 of Lord of Misrule

She was reluctant to do so, but then did as ordered. He opened up his fur-lined cloak and pulled her next to his warm body.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I don’t want you to be cold. Your teeth are chattering,” he told her.

“Aye, my lord. King is sleeping with Parker, but I will snuggle up next to them when I retire for the night so we can share each other’s warmth. Will you require the dog to return to your tent?”

“Nay, it’s fine, King can stay with Parker. Kit, I never should have commanded you and the boy to join the hunting party. I am sorry.”

She slowly leaned in against him and her chattering teeth finally stopped making noise, even though her body still shook.

“We have one more day and night of this?” she asked, sounding as if she felt doomed.

He chuckled lowly. “That was the original plan. However, in the morning I will announce that we will abandon the hunt and head back to the castle instead.”

“Really?” She looked up at him in surprise. The flames from the fire reflected, the flames dancing in her big brown eyes. “Won’t the others be disappointed? You’ve yet to bring down a deer.”

“Nay, they’ll be happy to get back to their families. After this, Rook will even be grateful to sleep on the floor in the great hall, now that I’ve given you his pallet.”

“Oh, please. Give it back to him.” She sat up straight and turned to look at him with concern on her face. “I don’t want to take anything from a noble. It’s not right.”

“If not a noble, then who?” he asked. “You can’t expect your pregnant sister to sleep on a bare floor.”

“Well, she was very grateful for the pallet, my lord.” Kit smiled, making Tolin’s heart soar. He would do whatever it took to make Kit’s life easier and to bring her happiness. He knew that now.

“I am very grateful for you,” he told her, giving her shoulder a slight squeeze, his arm still around her.

“Grateful? For me?” She looked at him quizzically.

“For your baking. It tastes good.”

“Oh.” She turned back toward the fire. “I’m glad you approve, my lord.”

They sat in silence staring at the flames for a few minutes, even though it seemed to Tolin like hours. Finally, he found the nerve to speak.

“Kit, I’ve decided when we return to Blake Castle, I am going to lift Parker’s sentence.”

“Really?” She sat up straighter, looking directly into his eyes. “What exactly do you mean?”

“I mean that you and Parker will be free and able to go home. There will be no more accusations against your son.”

“Oh. I see.” She didn’t sound half as happy about this decision as Tolin thought she’d be. He’d only wanted to make her smile, but she wasn’t smiling anymore.

“That is what you wanted, right? To go home?” he asked her. “To go back to work in your bakery?”

“Yes, I suppose it is,” she said, looking down and wringing her hands together. Tolin didn’t understand this reaction at all. Then she yawned and slowly leaned her body against his again. Her head lowered against his chest as they continued to stare at the fire without talking. They sat in silence for a long time. Too long. Tolin thought he’d better take this opportunity to tell Kit how he really felt about her, after all. This might be the only chance he had if she planned on going back to town on the morrow.

“Kit, I like you. Actually, it is more than like. A lot more,” he told her.

He thought he heard a slight moan from her but she didn’t move and didn’t answer. It unnerved him, but at least she didn’t get up and walk away.

“I know you are just a commoner, and I am a noble and we don’t belong together.”

No response.

Tolin continued. “But when I kiss you, I forget all about who you are. All I know is that you make me feel different than the way I’ve felt with any other woman I’ve been with. I want to do so much more with you than just kiss.” He suddenly realized this was making him sound like a lustful cur. “Wait. Let me explain that better. I don’t want to just love you and leave you, is what I mean. You deserve better than that. You have been through too much hardship in your life, and you don’t need me creating more. Right?” Tolin stumbled over his words, wondering how he could be making such a mess of this.

Still, she didn’t answer.

“Kit? Say something, please.” He leaned forward to look in her eyes and that is when he realized she had fallen asleep lying up against him.

He smiled to himself, almost glad she hadn’t heard him. He wasn’t good at expressing himself and felt like a fumbling fool right now. If she had heard what he’d just said, she would probably really hate him and he couldn’t blame her. God’s eyes, why was it so hard to tell her how he really felt about her? Why couldn’t he just say that he thinks about her constantly and wasn’t sure what he’d do without her?

He reached over and kissed her atop the head. “Sweet dreams, my lovely lady,” he whispered, knowing she wasn’t really a lady, but to him she was so much more.

Tolin scooped her up into his arms and carried her back to her tent, his eyes focused on her angelic face as she slumbered. He ducked and entered the tent. King looked up, but didn’t come over to greet him. The dog was under the blanket and Parker had his arms around the hound. It was innocent and precious and he’d never seen anything like it. He didn’t want to disturb this, but he also didn’t want Kit to have to sleep without a covering. Tolin laid her down next to Parker, then removed his cloak and covered her with it before turning to leave the tent.

“Did you tell her?” came Raven’s sleepy voice from the dark inside the tent.

“I told her,” said Tolin, not pointing out that even though he’d tried to tell Kit how much she meant to him, she hadn’t heard a word of it. “Go back to sleep, Raven. We head back to Blake Castle first thing in the morning.”