Page 26 of Sweet Mead for Lady Martine

“Don’t have to do what? I don’t understand.” She took a few steps toward him.

“It was a mistake, my lady. What happened between us never should have transpired and we both know it. I am truly sorry that things couldn’t be different, but we both know they can’t.”

The knife in her heart from his refusal now twisted sharply. “You are talking about the kisses,” she said boldly, not really caring if anyone heard.

“Shhh,” he warned her, quickly glancing over his shoulder. “I don’t want anyone to hear.”

“Nay. I suppose you don’t,” she said, ready to shout it aloud just to make him feel as uncomfortable as she did at the moment.

“I never should have done it. It was wrong of me. I’m not sure why I did.”

She didn’t like this sudden false act of modesty. David didn’t seem like the kind of man who would ever apologize for his actions. “You act as if our actions were your decision only, when they were warranted by both of us,” she pointed out.

“Please,” he said, his eyes closing and opening once again. “Only I am to blame. You don’t need to say that.”

“I don’t say things only to make one feel better,” she told him. “I say exactly what I mean.”

“Lady Martine, I can’t— I mean we can’t see each other again. It’s not proper. If word leaks out about what happened, I could be punished. Mayhap even imprisoned.”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” she asked, disgusted that he was only thinking about himself. “Funny, but I didn’t take you for a coward, David.”

“Coward?” His brows dipped and he walked toward her, leaving the tray of dishes on the drink board. “I assure you, my lady, I am quite braver than you might believe.”

“I don’t see that, I’m afraid. I see a man who is so scared of the potential consequences that he’s afraid to even admit his own feelings.”

He jerked back, her words seeming to surprise him. Then he shook his head and spoke with no emotion at all in his voice. “I’m sorry you think that way about me but I am only doing what I need to do in order to protect my family. I can’t take the risk of something happening to me. If something did happen to me, that would leave them in a very bad position.” He continued to walk toward her as he spoke. “Since my father’s death, all responsibility has fallen upon my shoulders. It is a heavy burden to bear, although I can’t expect you to understand.”

“I resent that remark. I am not as insensitive to people’s feelings as you make it sound.”

“This inn is my family’s life, my lady. It is the blood that flows through our veins. Without it, we are nothing. I cannot and will not lose it because of my own careless actions. I will take every precaution, use every spare minute I have, to do whatever I can to provide for my family.”

“Your desire to help your family is admirable, but I resent you referring to what happened between us as naught but careless actions. Be careful not to lose yourself along the way,” she told him.

“What does that mean?” He stopped now, standing before her.

“Your words speak of your inn and your family only. Is there nothing else you care about besides that?” She wanted him to say he had felt something for her when they’d kissed. Martine wanted more than anything for David to tell her he wanted to see her again, even if they had to do so in secret. But instead, he was dismissing her from his life as if she and their shared intimate moments never even happened.

“I’m sorry, but that is all it can ever be,” he told her, his eyes staring at her lips. Her senses were reeling, telling her he really wanted to kiss her again but wouldn’t risk it. “You are a lady and I am naught but a commoner.”

“I know that.”

“We don’t belong together, my lady. I was wrong when I– when we did what we did. We need to put it behind us now because it will only bring both of us pain and discomfort.”

“I didn’t feel pain or discomfort when we kissed. Didn’t it mean anything at all to you?”

He was quiet for a moment. His gaze traveled up from her lips to her eyes and stopped there. She saw his turmoil within. Part of her wanted to comfort him, but at this point she didn’t know how.

“Nay,” he said so quietly that she almost thought she’d imagined it. “It meant nothing. Nothing at all, my lady.”

The knife in her heart sank in deeper, going for the kill. Now, her anger was stronger than her hurt and she wanted more than anything to give him a piece of her mind. It took every bit of her strength to refrain from telling him he was the biggest liar she’d ever met. Martine knew he had felt something between them when they’d kissed, just as she had. But before she could confront him, a door slammed open from a room upstairs and the tavern whore came bounding down the stairs.

“David?” The whore stopped when she saw Martine. “What’s going on?” She glared at Martine as if she was disgusted that she was there, or mayhap as if she were jealous.

“Cinnamon, please take this to the kitchen.” He hurried over and picked up the tray and held it out to her. The girl didn’t take it. Instead, she kept staring at Martine, making Martine feel very uncomfortable.

“I’m not a scullery maid, David, and you know it.” Her hand rested on his shoulder and she let her fingers slowly slide down his arm. “Now, if you need something else, you know I’m always here to give it to you.”

It was too much for Martine to watch. She was sure David had bedded the whore in the past but at this moment seeing the girl touch him so intimately made her heart drop in her chest. Martine wanted to be the girl on David’s arm, but he didn’t want her. She couldn’t even imagine that hussy kissing or making love to the man that she had lost her heart to after just one kiss.

Martine turned and ran from the tavern, not stopping until she reached her horse.

“My lady?” asked Dexter, looking up in surprise. “Is something wrong? You seem flustered.”

The servants exited the tavern, returning to the horse and cart after having delivered and set up the bed.

“It’s time to go,” she said, not waiting for Dexter to help her mount her steed. Right now she didn’t want any man to touch her.

“Lady Martine, wait!” called out David from the door to the tavern. The whore stood right behind him, looking over his shoulder. Martine didn’t want him to see the tears welling in her eyes and so she ignored him. Just like he wanted to pretend their kisses never happened, she refused to answer him and instead acted as if he was the one who didn’t exist now.

“Yaw!” she called to the horse, kicking her heels into the sides of the animal, and speeding away without looking back.

It was over between her and David and she knew it now. It was over before it ever really began. He wasn’t willing to risk his neck for her. If not, then she wanted nothing to do with him again. When she fell in love with a man she needed that man to be willing to walk through fire for her without even blinking. Martine wanted the kind of love she’d seen between her cousins and their spouses and between her brother Robin and the healer, Sage. That was true love. Love that she wanted more than anything in her life right now. Sadly, she realized that she might never find it. Her feelings for David would have to be pushed aside since when her father returned she was sure he would betroth her to a noble. That is, a man who was proper and a good match. A form of alliance and having nothing to do with feelings or emotions.

“Damn you, David Stone,” she spat, feeling the harsh wind sting her face as her tears flowed down her cheeks. She didn’t care. Martine’s inner pain was far worse than anything she would or could feel physically. “Damn you to hell,” she said through gritted teeth feeling like the biggest fool to walk the earth. Just because he’d kissed her, it meant nothing at all to him. And now that she knew the truth, she was dreading having to tell Sage and Josefina that she’d never find the kind of love they’d found, because it was over for her. David Stone was naught but a meaningless flirtation in the night and they would never, could never, end up together.