Page 73 of Picking Up the Gauntlet

Lark let out a deep sigh before answering. “I ken ye speak the truth, but I canna undo the damage that’s already been done in my life. Ye need to remember that. Dinna hurt Jonathon. He doesna deserve it.”

“I’m not going to hurt him. Don’t you see? My plan will help him instead.”

“How?” she asked. “Do ye really think that even if ye do win the tournament, which is addled to even believe ye can, that yer father will let ye marry who ye want?”

“Why not? The winner is supposed to get me as their bride. If I’m the winner, I should be able to choose.”

“Choose who?” she asked. “No knight will want a bride who beat him at a tournament. And if ye think ye can choose Jonathon, that is a lie, too. Besides, after he discovers what you want that armor for, ye’ll make him look like a fool. He willna want ye either.”

“Don’t say that!” she spat, but Lark was already walking away. Raven clenched her jaw, knowing that what her cousin said was the truth. She was doomed either way. And the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt Jonathon.

“Raven?”

Raven looked up to see her mother enter the solar. When she dismissed the rest of the ladies before coming over to talk to her, Raven knew she was in trouble.

“Mother,” she said, hiding the tunic she was sewing, picking up Lark’s needlepoint and pretending she was doing that instead. “What brings you here?”

“Raven, I sent the rest of the ladies away because I wanted to speak to you in private.”

“I noticed. What’s troubling you?”

“You are, Daughter. I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” She looked up and smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m acting like a lady sitting here sewing. Why are you worried?”

“You know why I’m concerned—now stop pretending.” Devon sat down in Lark’s vacated chair.

“You’ll have to be more specific, Mother.” She held out Lark’s stitching, pretending to be inspecting her work.

“How long are you going to let this go on before you speak to your father?”

“About what?”

“About you and Jonathon. You’ve got to tell him. You’re not being fair about this.”

“Father isn’t being fair to me either, making me the prize of a stupid contest. Besides, it wouldn’t make a difference if I did tell him about Jonathon. He’s already decided I will marry a noble and will never change his mind even if the man is older than him and bald and has no teeth. I hate it!” She dropped the needlework on her lap.

“If you really love Jonathon, then you’re not being fair to him either.”

“What am I supposed to do?” asked Raven, feeling the tears in her eyes. “Mother, mayhap you can talk to Father for me? I’m scared to do it.”

“Raven, you are an adult now and no longer a child. You are also the best female warrior I’ve ever seen. Yet you fear confronting your father?”

“You know better than anyone how stubborn he can be. You are the only one who can get through to him.”

Her mother looked as sad as Raven felt at the moment. “Your father prides himself on winning back respect for his family name,” she explained. “His dream is to have each of his children marry worthy nobles, strengthening the honor of the Blake name. He had a hard childhood, losing everything and more or less everyone he loved. This is very important to him.”

“He didn’t lose everyone he loved. He found his siblings again, Mother.”

“True, but it took a long time. Those years without them can never be replaced. Plus, he didn’t have a mother or father to go to with all his problems. He had only the sorcerer, Orrick, until he disappeared for a while, too.”

“So, Father was raised by the sorcerer?” asked Raven. “He never speaks about it.”

“It’s a long story. Mayhap you can ask him about it someday. The point is, I didn’t have parents to guide me, either. Yet, we both became stronger because of what we went through. It was what helped us to endure and to survive, and to become the people we are today.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I am saying, I won’t get involved in your life, Raven. As much as I want to help you, if I do, you will never learn your lessons and you will never change.”