Page 51 of Highland Sky

“I’m no’ sure. I’m still confused.” Kellina tied back her hair. “I still feel anger toward the MacKeefes for killin’ my parents but, at the same time, I feel something special for Nash, deep inside. I honestly think I want to have his baby, although I never thought I’d say it. I just see ye and Shaw with the baby and realize how happy ye two are. I want to feel that same kind of happiness. It is what I want more than anything in life right now.”

“Aye, a baby is a wonderful way to bring two people together,” said Spring. “However . . . if ye two are no’ ready to start a family, it could be considerably tryin’. It might also end up tearin’ ye apart if ye are no’ both willin’ to make the sacrifices that might be needed.”

“What do ye mean?” asked Kellina.

“I mean that it is a lot of work on both yer parts to raise a family. I couldna even begin to tell ye what trouble Shaw’s three children gave him, as well as me at first, before they accepted me as their mathair. Still, it is the best feelin’ in the world when they tell ye they love ye.”

“Speakin’ of love, I think we made love today, no’ just coupled,” Kellina said shyly, but wanting Spring to know. “It was different than just couplin’, I think. Just like ye said.”

“Oh, did Nash say he loved ye?” she asked with a smile. “How nice.”

“Well, nay.” Kellina started thinking she must have misunderstood what Spring meant when she talked about making love versus coupling. “He did no’ say that, actually.”

“I see. Ye told him that ye love him, then? Well, that is a guid start.”

“Uh . . . nay. I didna say I loved him, either. But I’m sure we will both tell each other that soon.”

Spring put her arm around Kellina’s shoulders as they walked. “All in guid time, Kellina. These things canna be rushed.”

“I’m sorry about the roof,” apologized Kellina.

“I’m no’,” Spring answered. “Sometimes one wall – or roof – needs to come down before another can be built. I just hope that ye and Nash can work out yer differences before ye have a bairn together. If no’, those walls might just become higher than ever.”

*

The roof wasan easy fix, and Nash cherished the time that he and Kellina spent working on it together. A fresh breeze blew past his face, making him feel alive more than ever. He’d enjoyed finally consummating his marriage, as he had been starting to think that it was never going to happen. Kellina seemed to finally relax and accept him, and that was good. But still, something was bothering him. His new wife seemed so insistent on getting pregnant, and that surprised as well as confused him. He found her wanting for a baby an odd thing. After all, she didn’t want anything to do with him just a few days ago. It made him feel uneasy and suspicious. He didn’t think she was up to anything devious, but her eagerness to get pregnant so quickly made him feel on edge.

“That looks guid,” said Kellina, putting on the finishing touches, and sitting down atop the shed. She looked out over the water of the loch with a smile. Nash wondered if she was thinking about their swim in the cold water that led to coupling to warm up, in the end.

“Aye, it does look guid,” he said, sitting next to her. He reached out to stroke her cheek, looking at her instead of at the roof. God’s eyes, she was beautiful. They’d been so busy fighting with one another that he hadn’t really taken the time to drink her in. She was his wife now, he reminded himself. And, she wanted a baby, quickly. The knot in his stomach returned at the thought. When she leaned in closer, meaning to kiss him, he pulled away.

“What’s the matter, Nash?” She looked bewildered why he would do such a thing.

“Let’s just look at the sky for a while. It’s such a nice day.” He laid back, staring up at the sky. Big, puffy, white clouds hovered over them while the scent of heather drifted past on the breeze. It would all have seemed so perfect . . . if he hadn’t been worried about being a father. His head was still in a tizzy from being told he had to marry a woman he hadn’t chosen for himself. Then he was told he had to consummate the marriage – which he understood. But now, Kellina insisting they conceive a baby, especially the first time they made love, had him concerned. He hadn’t even gotten used to the fact that he had wife yet. The last thing he wanted was to add a baby to the mix. He and Kellina needed to work out their differences first.

“Ye didna like makin’ love with me, did ye?” Kellina sighed and laid on her back looking at the sky as well.

“Nay, that’s no’ true, lass. I enjoyed it immensely,” he said, taking her hand and gently stroking her arm with two fingers, in deep thought.

“Then what is botherin’ ye, Nash? Dinna lie to me, please. I can tell there is some sort of wall between us, and I want to ken what it is.”

“I guess I was just curious about somethin’.”

“About what?” she asked.

“Ye didna even want me to touch ye before today. Now, ye accepted the couplin’ easily, and kept tellin’ me ye wanted a bairn.”

“Aye, I do want a bairn, Nash. Spring has been talkin’ with me, and she helped me realize things I hadna thought of before.”

“Like what? I dinna understand.”

“It doesna matter. All that matters is that we are happy together.” She sat up and looked down at him. “Spring and Shaw seem so happy with their children, Nash. It looks like a perfect life to me. I want that, too. More than anything. Dinna ye want to have children? Dinna ye want to have a family with me, and be happy like they are?”

“Well, of course, I want to be happy. Who doesna?” Nash sat up. “And about the bairn . . . aye, I guess I want one. Someday.”

“What?” She blinked twice and bit her lip. “Ye dinna sound sure about it, Nash. That is scarin’ me. Ye dinna want to have a family with me.”

“That’s no’ true. I want children, Kellina, honest I do. But someday . . . no’ right now. We dinna even really ken each other yet. Everythin’ is happenin’ so fast.”