Page 62 of Be My Valentine

“Wife?” she repeated inebriated “After all you’ve done, how dare you ask me such a thing?”

Mark leaned back against the wall and crossed his legs. He wanted to appear nonchalant, in reality he was terrified.

“A man can propose for a variety of reasons, in my case I’m afraid it’s the most ordinary one.” he looked her straight in the eye “I want to marry you because I love you.”

Kate felt tears prickle.

“I suppose I should believe you on… trust?” Emotion betrayed her on the last word.

Mark never wanted to see that tear. It was like feeling it on him, a small, painful drop of fire capable of devouring his chest. He straightened up, totally losing the fake relaxation.

“I’ve done everything wrong, Kate. I behaved horribly. I didn’t want to manipulate you, I didn’t want to buy you in any way, I didn’t want to hurt you. I was so scared of losing you that to keep you tied to me I did everything, even what I shouldn’t have. I want you; I only want you.”

Kate began to breathe fast, she felt her oxygen running out and the more she tried to catch her breath, the more she felt her throat tighten. The room whirled around her, and she slumped down in a chair, one hand on her chest where the pain wouldn’t loosen its grip; she needed air and couldn’t find an ounce of it.

“Kate!” Mark was alarmed and was beside her, kneeling in front of her, forgetting his promise not to move “Breathe, love, breathe, calm down.” He took the hand she’d brought to her chest and brought it to his lips.

“It… it hurts, Mark.” She let out the bitterness and torture choking her.

Mark continued to hold her hand between his and leaned his head desperately on her lap.

“I love you. I wanted to help you, I wanted to know you were safe. I messed up, love. I didn’t understand anything anymore. You got inside me and all I wanted was for you to stay there forever, no matter what. Marry me, Kate, I beg you, give me peace. Say that you are mine. I’ll accept anything, love, if you want to work at night that’s fine with me, if you want to spend your days on the subway that’s fine with me. I… I’ll hire a bodyguard; I can do it! You’ll be safe and I won’t clip your wings, Kate. I want you to fly high, where you want to go, where everyone can see who you are, can see what I see. I just need to know that you will always come back to me. That’s all.”

Mark had spoken with his eyes closed and his forehead pressed to Kate’s legs, in a last, desperate attempt at forgiveness. He recognized the mistakes he’d made; he’d imagined being in Kate’s shoes and had come out devastated.

Suddenly he felt the fingers touching the nape of his neck, he relaxed his shoulders enjoying that touch like a thirsty soil welcomes the rain. He looked up at Kate, she was melancholy and the newly born hope was washed away.

“This is crazy, we can’t.” she told him sadly “We’ve known each other for a month… I kissed you three times; how could I marry you?” She looked away from him and placed her eyes on the gorgeous diamond.

Mark did not miss the gesture.

“Do you like it?”

Kate nodded. Her breathing had become more regular, the tears, however, continued to threaten to fall.

“Take it, it’s yours. You can resell it. Do what you want with it.”

Kate looked at him dumbfounded and her voice became less tremulous.

“I would never do that!” she said almost indignantly “I couldn’t sell my engagement ring!”

Mark barely rippled his lips.

“Your ring? You just said you don’t love me, it has no sentimental value, it’s just a piece of jewelry.”

“I didn’t say I don’t love you!” She protested.

“Then marry me!” Mark insisted.

“It’s not that simple!”

“Yes, it is. I have a marriage license, I applied for it via email.” Kate widened her eyes “Meg gave me one of your documents, don’t worry, it’s back in its place.” minimized Mark “We can go to city hall tomorrow, stand in line, put two signatures on it and you’ll be my wife.”

“Tomorrow?” repeated Kate dazedly “My mother and your parents would never forgive us.”

“Yes, since I’ve told them all that they can plan any wedding you want with you, whenever you want and however you want, a big reception or small and intimate, at the beach, at the church, wherever you want. There’s just one little problem.”

“What?” Kate asked in a rush.