Page 77 of Carson

“Where …” I look around confused. “Where did she go?”

“Who?”

“My mom.” But as the words leave my mouth, I remember. She’s dead. And for some reason, it hurts worse than the day I lost her.

Carson hugs me closely as if he can hear my internal thoughts.

And I grieve the woman who I loved more than life itself.

Something that I’ve never done.

I was afraid I would lose myself if I let go the way I needed to.

But Carson is here, holding all my bits and pieces together as I mourn her with all of my soul.

When my sobs slow, he gently lays us back against the mattress.

“I had a dream …”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand. Your mother came to visit you.”

I nod. I want to tell him about my dream, but I can’t. Not yet anyway. I’m drained. Honestly, it feels good, like I finally let go of something heavy I hadn’t realized I’d even been carrying.

“I love you, Carson,” I mumble, falling asleep before he even has a chance to respond.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Lily

Iwatch as the club, my family, moves around me.

Everyone is laughing and talking excitedly.

I’ve been feeling as if I’m slipping into the shadows. No one seems to notice that my entire world has been flipped upside down.

Jesse sits down next to me and drapes her arm across the back of my chair; she watches with me. She and Dan are the only two who know what’s going on with me.

Getting old sucks. I don’t fucking like it one bit.

“Do you want to go inside where it’s quieter and we can talk?” Jesse leans over and asks in my ear.

“No. I’m just waiting for Carson and Cole to show up. I just want to get this over with.”

She scans the group. “There’s Carson now.”

I follow her line of sight.

“She’s a pretty little thing. Reminds me of you. She looks too sweet to be here.”

As they make their way toward us, he stops, introducing her to everyone.

His hand is at the small of her back protectively, and she leans into him every now and then. I think back to the days when I was being introduced to the club. It was intimidating but wonderful at the same time.

Carson scans the crowd, and I know who he’s looking for.

I texted Carver earlier and begged him to make sure Cole showed up tonight. I hope he doesn’t let me down.

Carver has become family quicker than any of us expected. Maybe that’s why I knew he’d understand how important tonight is.