Page 66 of Carson

“Mom, please talk to God and ask him if you can give me the answer. I know it’s cheating, but just this one time.”

The old wind-up alarm clock on the nightstand ticks by quietly. The rhythm is soft and consistent, making me sleepy.

But I have to decide before morning.

My head rolls to the side, and I stare at the fortune cookie.

I close my eyes, and when I open them again, I reach for the cookie, breaking it in half.

Slowly I unroll the tiny piece of paper inside, positioning it in the moonlight so I can read it.

“You are destined for a luminous beginning,” I whisper out loud.

My heart stops, and I wonder if I’m hallucinating. Maybe the light isn’t as good as I thought it was in here.

I bolt upright, turning on the lamp.

“You are destined for a luminous beginning.”

I hurry to my backpack, dropping to my haunches to retrieve the journal Carson gave me. I’ve been writing in it every day. I flip to the first page, and at the top, beside the words I scratched out, is the confirmation I’m looking for. I hold my fortune against my own words.

I stumble backward, landing in the middle of the floor. “A luminous beginning. A fucking luminous beginning.”

I asked. Why am I so surprised the universe answered?

“A luminous beginning,” I say again, hugging the journal to my chest.

The only thing I can do now is laugh and cry.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Carson

Iwaited until she went to bed to come back up to the house. Maybe because I knew she’d give me all the reasons she has to leave.

None of them are good. I already know that. I don’t need to hear them.

When I saw the light coming on in her room, I figured it was time to go back. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.

I send my mom a quick message, letting her know I’m still alive.

She sends one back with every color heart emoji there is.

That’s my mom in a nutshell.

And even though I know my brother won’t answer, I send him a text too.

I’m sad our time here is coming to an end. I’ve learned a lot about myself by taking this trip. I always thought I needed Cole to initiate a conversation with a woman. I thought I needed him to navigate the world. This trip has made me realize I can do things alone. It’s given me a small piece of my identity back.

With all of that said … I miss my brother like I’d miss my right arm if it were cut off.

There’s a faint knock at the door.

“You can come in, Luna. You don’t have to knock.”

The door eases open, and there stands my angel in her Betty Boop pajamas. It instantly brings a smile to my face.

“Can I?” she points to the bed as I’m scooting over to make room for her.