Page 62 of Carson

That might be hard to do, but at least I know she trusts me enough to tell me when something isn’t right.

After I’ve kissed her good morning thoroughly, I lean back against the pillows and pull her with me. She rests her cheek over my chest, curling up under my chin.

For the next few days, she’s here with me, but she’s lost in deep thought. We’ve had separate beds, but every morning, I wake to find her next to me.

I watched her cry as she stood on the northernmost tip of Ireland, waves crashing against the rocks below, yet she still lifted her face to the sun and smiled.

Today, she laughed with a shopkeeper of an oddities shop despite the sadness I know she’s carrying. I can tell she’s working through something, but she’s still moving forward. It just pains me I can’t do more to help.

Lately, I’ve been leaning on people in my family I normally wouldn’t. My mom, Kelsie, and I’ve even called Grandma Maggie.

I needed a woman’s assurance that I’m doing the right thing, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. I often wonder if this thing between her and me is hurting her. Mom assures me that her quietness doesn’t mean she’s going backward.

Then one day, while waiting for the sun to set behind the Wicklow Mountains in a place called Glendalough, Luna finally lets me in. She hugs her legs to her chest, watching the ducks dip their heads below the surface of the water, and I brace myself for whatever she’s about to say.

“My father used to come into my room at night.”

Even though I already knew what had most likely happened to her, hearing it directly from her fucking hurts.

“I’ve never told anyone this,” she continues quietly. There are no tears as she pushes on, telling me everything she’s never admitted out loud.

I listen quietly, and when she pauses, I take her hand, letting her know I’m with her. I don’t think she necessarily needs me to say anything.

“Anyway, I don’t want you to think I haven’t healed from all of that. I have.” She watches my thumb rhythmically brush over the top of her hand. “But I’ve never met anyone I wanted to be intimate with, and …” her gaze sweeps over the water, “I guess I didn’t know that my body hadn’t forgotten what he did to me.”

There are plenty of people who have suffered trauma in my club. We aren’t a family who hides things from each other … for the most part. And Luna’s brother shared his personal story of his relationship with Luna’s father. I’ve heard stories like hers before. I’ve seen what one person’s cruelty can leave behind in another. But I’ve never loved someone standing on the other side of it.

What the fuck gave that bastard the right?

I’m fuming inside, but on the outside I remain calm. She needs me to be a sturdy place for her to land right now.

He is gone and dead, but she’s still here suffering the consequences of his actions. And she’s been doing it alone.

Not anymore.

I don’t care if we never have sex. I hope that’s not the case—not for me, but because I want her to have every kind of intimacy she wants for herself.

Luna is offering me something more sacred than her physical body. She’s baring her soul and trusting me not to run from it.

Chapter Twenty-One

Cole

Carver sits down across from me, but not before rolling his eyes.

This is not going to go well for him.

Jesse folds her hands behind her head as she leans back in Jackson’s chair, kicking her feet on the table. “What can I do for you, boys?”

I hold my hands up in the air. “I’m just here because I have nothing better to do.”

Dirk chuckles under his breath from the opposite end of the table as he watches his wife.

He always has her back, but he lets her run her business as she sees fit. For the most part.

“I would like your blessing to go after Nyx.” He shrugs. “I’m not pretending to know your business, or exactly what they are doing there, but if it involves taking the congressman out, I’ll handle it.”

“Well now, isn’t that gentlemanly of you.”