Page 55 of Carson

He grabs it quickly, not wanting our touch to end. He brings our hands to his mouth. “I can’t treat you like other women. Not because you’re fragile, but because you’re the only one who’s ever seen me. I’ve never let anyone this far into my mind before. To be honest, I don’t really know how to act around you, because I’ve never felt this way before. It’s so new, I’m like a clumsy toddler just learning to walk.”

“Me too.”

“Great, so we’re going to be walking around Ireland bumping into each other.” He smiles and relief eases the lines on his face.

“I certainly hope so, but if you think it’s going to be a problem maybe we should hold hands to prevent bouncing off of each other.”

He laughs. “I think that’s a great idea.”

“Good.” I lean back in my chair and wave him off to the shower.

Once I’m alone, my focus returns to the darkening horizon.

The moon appears over the ocean.

“Hello, twin,” I whisper to it.

The moon taught me to be still. To find the place inside of me that is unwavering … always okay. My mother taught me that everything has a purpose in your life. Even the birds, dragonflies, trees, water, sun, and moon.

“Nature is a perfect guide. When you get lost, go to it, and it will turn you in the right direction.”

The door to the bathroom opens. “I forgot to give you something,” Carson says, coming out in nothing but a towel.

“I’m okay, and so are you,” my heart whispers.

He grabs a book out of his suitcase and hands it to me.

My hand brushes over the luna moth on the front of the journal. “It’s beautiful,” I say, opening it to find it full of blank pages.

“I thought you might want to write about our trip.”

“For our daughter,” my mind whispers.

“This is so thoughtful,” I tell him. I grab the hotel pen sitting on the table and open it to the first page. “Day one,” I read aloud as I write the words at the top.

“Okay, then I’ll get back to it,” he points to the bathroom as he walks away.

“Thank you.”

He nods shyly before disappearing.

I stare down at the blank page.

The shower turns on, drawing my eyes to the bathroom door. I let my gaze roam over the room. It’s cozy, lit by lamps with old-school lightbulbs. Not those blinding ones we have in the States. And suddenly it all feels perfectly aligned, as if the room is reflecting something happening inside me. My pen scratches over the page in one short stroke, crossing out what I’ve written, because this feels more than a simple day one.

I curl up in the chair with my wine, the moon, and the first ramblings of a lovestruck woman.

Who would have thought?

Chapter Nineteen

Carver

I’ve always been jealous of Carson and Cole. I’ve never had anyone I could count on the way these two do.

Another one of the things the universe royally fucked up on. We should have all been born with a twin. It would make life a hell of a lot easier.

Or at least that’s what I always thought, but watching him over the past several days has me rethinking things. I see now how being that close to someone could come at a cost.