Page 100 of Fake it With Me

She slid off her chair and walked away, her footsteps quiet on the stairs. I heard her bedroom door close. Eventually, that would be a slamming door when she was mad at me. Parenting a teenager did not sound fun. Doing it alone sounded even worse.

I sat at the table, looking at the two barely touched plates of food. It was easier when Sasha left. I had somewhere to direct my anger. I was the good guy and got to be all self-righteous. Unfortunately, I was the asshole this time.

The entire situation was my fault.

I had let Liza into our lives. And I stood back and watched Daisie get attached. I had known it was temporary but I let it all happen because I was selfish. I wanted something for myself, and I hadn’t thought through what it would cost my daughter.

No, that wasn’t true. I had thought about it. And I did put a brief halt to things. And then I got caught up and forgot all about keeping Liza on the outside of our little family unit. And now Daisie was paying the price for my mistakes.

I cleaned up the uneaten dinner. The house felt too big, too empty. I was reminded of Liza everywhere I looked.

I had gotten used to her being around. It was nice to have someone to share the small moments with. And I had become so used to our conversations after Daisie went to bed. Conversations. Sex. Companionship.

Now it was just me again.

I went to bed early, more because I didn’t know what else to do. And I was tired. But I couldn’t sleep. I just lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling. Had I overreacted? Had I been too harsh?

No. She’d been lining up another job. I knew she was going to leave us. The evidence was right there in those messages.

But she didn’t see the messages. I didn’t know how she responded.

I turned over, punching the pillow, trying to get comfortable. But comfort was impossible. Everything felt wrong.

The next morning, after I dropped a silent Daisie at school, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and froze.

Sasha.

We hadn’t spoken since the courthouse. All our communication had been through lawyers, working out the details of her supervised visits with Daisie. What could she possibly want now?

I answered warily. “Sasha.”

“Hi, Darek. Do you have a minute?”

Her voice was different. Softer, less combative. It threw me off balance.

“I guess. What’s going on?”

“I wanted to update you on something. I’ve been working with my lawyer to get the original security footage from the yacht club. The stuff that supposedly got erased? We think we can recover it from the hard drives. It’ll take some time and money, but once we have it, you can use it to go after Grant for lying. Prove he doctored that photo.”

I sat up straighter. “You’re helping me build a case against your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-boyfriend being the operative word. I broke up with him, remember? And yeah, I’m helping. What he did was wrong. He lied to the court, he lied to me, and he put Daisie in the middle of it.” She paused. “I’m so sorry, Darek. I had no idea he had done that. I swear I never would have gone along with it.”

“I believe you.” And surprisingly, I did. “I can’t believe I was going to let Daisie around someone like him. I’m starting to think the best thing I can do is be single for a while. Figure out my own shit before I bring anyone else into Daisie’s life. I want her to be my priority.”

“That’s probably wise.”

“Yeah.” She was quiet for a moment. “Look, I also wanted to talk about Daisie. About visitation. I know I said I wanted joint custody, but I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize now that was selfish. Asking her to live with me half the time when I’m basically a stranger to her would be a huge disruption. She has her life with you. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I won’t fight you for custody anymore. But I would like to try to be a mother to her again. If you’ll let me. If she wants that.” Her voice cracked slightly. “I know I have a lot of work to do. A lot to make up for. But I’d like to try. Maybe we could start small? Short visits, just an hour or two? Whatever Daisie is comfortable with.”

I thought about my daughter and her current depression. She had already lost one woman she’d gotten attached to this week. Maybe having her mother make an effort would help. Maybe it would help fill the hole Liza’s absence left.

“I’ll talk to her,” I said. “See what she wants. But, Sasha, you have to mean it this time. If you’re going to be in her life, you have to actually be in her life. No disappearing again because it gets hard.”

“I know. I promise. I’m trying to be better. For her.”